An Effortless Lie
by Keelin Forsythe
Summary: What's going on in Cat's head? The red-velvet haired girl's dealings with break ups and heartache. *Due to Ch.5 & 8: Rating bumped to M for lemony-goodness* CADE
1. Chapter 1

In the light of the morning, everything looked the same... but she knew that things had changed.

Jade, finally done with Beck's fawning over Tori Vega, had confronted him about it and Beck had called it quits. He told her that it was just one conversation, just one time, that he didn't feel for Tori how he did for Jade. She knew it was a lie. She could see it in his eyes, a haunting shadow that cast darkly over their relationship. She called him out on it, and when he told her they were done, she snapped. The tall brunette had raged her way out of his trailer, kicking the door open as she screamed at him and told him what a colossal _ass_ he was being. She had peeled out of his driveway so quickly that she left rubber on the pristine concrete of the driveway.

Cat hadn't known what to think when she called. It was late, so late... She was amazed that her phone had even woken her up. She had told the distraught girl to come over, that she was here and it would be okay, just come talk.

To her surprise, Jade was calm when she arrived. She had quietly told her what happened, sitting on the edge of Cat's pink bed and staring at her boots, her green eyes masking pain and anger. There wasn't much to tell; Cat knew already what Beck had been like since Tori had come to Hollywood Arts. But Jade sat and spilled her heart, getting it all out with the one person she ever deemed worthy to talk to about these things.

Cat used to love that Jade would come talk to her, that she was the one she trusted more than anyone else but Beck himself. Jade was mean to a lot of people, even Cat sometimes, but the little redhead knew that she was special. Jade let her get away with murder compared to how she treated her other friends. She would say things, do things, that only Cat got to see. She would smile that smile that Cat hadn't seen since Jade and Beck had first gotten together two years before. _She_ made her smile like that. It was a point of personal pride to the small singer.

Now, laying in her too-bright room in the too-bright morning, Jade's prone and fitfully sleeping form stretched out next to her under the covers, Cat's brain felt like it was going to explode. This wasn't the first time Jade had spent the night after a fight. This wasn't the first time Cat had woken up entangled and practically cuddling with the fearsome girl. But this was the first time her brain had let her think those dark and secret thoughts that normally simmered under the surface of her insanity.

Cat looked sadly at Jade, noting how even in sleep her mouth turned down in a frown. Her heart ached and she looked up at her walls, trying to distract herself from her rampaging emotions. She hated seeing her like this. It made her hate Beck in a way that she didn't know she ever could. She wanted to do something mean, which was definitely not like her, and it made her a little crazier every time the thought galloped through her head.

Jade West made her crazy on a regular basis. Not that it hurt much, seeing as her brain was pretty mushed as it was, but it didn't help either. A touch here, a look there, one of those dazzling just-for-you smiles... it was like having a hurricane ripping through her head. It made it hard to think, hard to rationalize and keep things straight.

Cat had been fighting her feelings for a long time. She looked back down at her sleeping friend, eyes drinking in the sight of her. Her long brown hair was spilled about her head like a halo, bright extensions shining in the morning sun, her breath soft as it spilled from her parted lips. She felt a tightness in her chest as she looked her over, and it made her want to cry great big tears of frustration and longing. She loved Jade, loved her like she had never loved anyone. All she wanted was to pull her close and kiss her, tell her it would be alright, tell her that she was _right here_ and that she wouldn't ever let anyone hurt her like that again. It made her want to scream.

She knew that it was too soon and that it would be for a long time. She'd have to keep her secret; keep it deep down where no one could see, down under her bubbly surface, down where all of her darkest thoughts twisted and writhed like snakes in a pit. She didn't think anyone could begin to fathom the secrets she kept. Words fell out of her mouth without a thought, leading people to believe that she had no control. But that was just her surface, the top of the pot boiling over onto the stove. There was pasta in the bottom no one even knew was there.

Cat sighed, closing her eyes and trying to think of rainbows and puppies and flowers and ice cream and _anything_ else but Jade. It was like trying to look away from a trainwreck. Her brain kept dredging up images of them hanging out; of a gentle touch on the arm, of a wide, honest smile, of a lilting laugh that only came out in the confines of their rooms... It made her chest tighter, made her want to cry out for breath. She could feel everything between them and it tore at her heart.

There was a rustling of sheets and she opened her eyes. Jade was awake now, her deep green gaze fixed on Cat. She was just looking, an unknowable thought hidden behind her eyes. The smaller girl stared back, locking gazes and trying to decipher what was going on in Jade's head. She didn't have to wait long.

"I can see your mind eating itself through your eyes." Jade's voice was soft, a hint of sadness tinting the edges.

Cat dropped her gaze. "... am I so obvious?"

"Someone has to know you too well," Jade murmured.

"You always seem to." Cat's voice almost cracked, but she held it together in a vise grip. She looked back to Jade and smiled. It was easier than she wanted it to be.

Jade quirked her lips in a shadow of a smile, rolling onto her side to face Cat. Her hair fell into her eyes and Cat reached over, tucking the offending strands behind the other girl's ear. She let her fingertips linger against Jade's smooth skin for a moment, revelling in the brief contact before pulling away.

"I'm going to have to go," Jade said softly. "My mom is going to freak out when she gets up and I'm not home."

Cat nodded, noting the reluctence of the statement in Jade's voice. This is what made it all so hard: knowing that Jade didn't want to leave. Cat had to reign herself in to keep from reaching out to grab her; to keep from tangling her hands in her shirt and pulling her close, burying her face in her chest, and quite probably weeping. She had to bite back the urge to scream out for her to stay. She smiled instead.

"You can always come back later!" Her cheeriness was disgusting. She hated that she could play this part. "We can have ice cream and watch movies and talk...!" It was an effortless lie once she got going. She grinned like she meant it, and Jade smiled one of _those_ smiles, and she almost broke. Jade smiled like the sun.

"That sounds good, Valentine."

Cat giggled. She loved when Jade used her last name: with Tori it was an insult, with Cat it was a loving nickname. She liked to imagine that she _was_ Jade's valentine.

Jade rolled out of the bed, pulling her jeans and boots on before wandering off towards the bathroom, yawning fit to burst. Cat watched her silently until she was out of the room, then sighed and sat up. She got out of bed and rummaged through her drawers for something to wear, choosing a pink t-shirt with unicorns on it and a pair of jeans. She hastily shed her sleep shirt and pulled on her clothes. She could hear Jade singing to herself in the bathroom and it gave her goosebumps. As she was pulling on her shoes, Jade came sauntering back into her room. The taller girl stood and watched her silently as she finished tying her laces, then reached out to help her off the floor. Her hand was warm and strong, and Cat held it for a minute with her smaller one, looking at how perfectly they fit together. She shook herself mentally and let go, smiling a vapid smile and forcing her eyes to portray the same brainless simplicity. It was easier to lie, to pretend that she was alright. So much easier than facing the oh-so-palpable tension between them.

"I'll walk you out!" Cat laughed and bounced out the door, hearing Jade following along behind her. As she made it to Jade's car she slowed and turned around, waiting for her to catch up.

"I'll call you later," Jade said, still smiling. She moved closer and pulled Cat into a hug. Cat melted into the embrace, inhaling deeply to catch all she could of the other girl's strong scent. It was one of the most comforting things in the world. Jade gave her a small squeeze before stepping back.

Cat watched silently as Jade got into her car, cranking the engine and rolling down her window. She waved to her, getting a wave back, then watched as she backed down the drive and took off down the street. She let her smile fall and sighed, turning to head back into the house. As she made it back into her room she flipped on the stereo and flopped on the bed to wait for Jade's phone call. The radio blasted into her brain and she smiled sadly.

_"Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world _

_Like I'm the only one that you'll ever love_

_Like I'm the only one who knows your heart_

_Only girl in the world..._

_Like I'm the only one that's in command_

_Cuz I'm the only one who understands, like I'm the only one who knows your heart, only one..."_

Cat wanted to cry, and laugh, and scream, and hide, and explode; all at the same time. A single tear traced its way down her cheek and she closed her eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Alright, thanks to Strong_Coffee there is another chapter! Yay! I believe I owe him freshly baked internet cookies, so those should be arriving shortly.**

**As usual, please R&R. Things like one-shots morphing into multi-chapters happen. *love*  
**

Cat sat quietly on her side of the couch, soft brown eyes focused on Jade. Her dour friend was sitting in the other corner of the long piece of furniture, twirling her finger in her hair as she sullenly contemplated the television. She hadn't said a word since she had come back to Cat's house.

The smaller girl sighed softly, brushing her loose red-velvet bangs back behind her ear. She affected a look of disinterested contentment and casually studied the fuming girl in front of her. Jade wasn't really angry, so much as hurt. But her hurt seemed to come second even to a great confusion that waltzed like the Blue Danube across her drawn features. The light in the room was glinting off of her eyebrow piercing and Cat caught herself staring at it. It made her think of a shooting star. One second there was nothing... then a quick turn of the head and a little streak of light came falling down. Cat liked those kinds of shooting stars: they led to the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen. That little spark would catch her attention, and as she followed it's brief flare, she would wish desperately for Jade to catch her eye.

Jade was too controlled for that.

Cat squirmed uncomfortably and twisted her gaze to the screen across from them. She couldn't even focus enough to know what show was on. She tried to stop the falling stars that were flashing behind her eyelids, but the image was there and her blasted brain wasn't going to let it go. She tried listening to the show instead, closing her eyes and willing the rampant whatever-they-were to get out of her vision so she could focus on _something_ that didn't have to do with Jade West. It was making her head spin and she just wanted it to kindly slow down, or stop, or just maybe not spin in _that_ direction quite so quickly...

She felt Jade shove her lightly, rocking her back. She opened her eyes to the other girl staring her down.

"What is up with you, Valentine?" It wasn't sweet this time, it wasn't loving. She sounded like whe was talking to Tori. Her eyebrows were all screwed up over her nose and she was giving her _that_ look; she knew the one; the 'what-the-chiz?' look. She got that a lot.

Cat took a deep breath and cocked her head to the side, poised on the edge of saying something that she wasn't quite sure of. Her mind swirled uncertainly around the idea of telling Jade exactly what was railing around in her head. She let the breath out and frowned.

"Jade..." she started. "Did you go there to break up with him?"

The simple question threw the irritable girl for a loop. Her carefully shaped eyebrows shot down as her eyes narrowed dangerously.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jade wanted to slap herself for dropping the quintessential Cat-ism.

Cat seemed to hackle as she screwed her face up angrily and swelled up to her full, yet meager, height. She didn't see why Jade couldn't be serious about this! This whole sordid fiasco was _her_ fault. She had dragged Back along like he was some kind of cheap trick. He followed her everywhere, and he softened her presence with apologies and simpering and superficial displays of affection. But Jade just prowled through Hollywood Arts, scattering people in her wake as she lead Beck around by the tie, and Cat around by the heart, and used her fashionably half-untied Doc Martens to stomp all over everyone with her perma-bitch attitude.

Cat imagined reaching across and slapping her, but she wasn't a very violent person, and she didn't think it would help much anyways.

"I mean what I said." She practically whispered the words as she stared resolutely at Jade. She was tired of all of this confusion in her head. She had to know what was going on here, because she was supposed to help, but how could she help without knowing what happened, and knowing Jade it was probably the rash girl's fault everything had-

Jade raised her hand as if to slap her and Cat snapped back to reality; to the fact that they were sitting in her living room, and that she was having irrational reactions to _someone else's_ break up. She realized after flinching that Jade had just been reaching up to tuck her hair back, and she wondered why in the world she had ever thought she would hit her. She seemed to be loosing her tenuious grasp on reality. Ho hum: old hat. She still had her 'angry-face' on and was glaring rather half-hearted at the taller girl. She wanted to be mad, but it wasn't her forte.

She still wanted an answer.

Jade shifted around so that she was staring at the television head on, setting her face in an apparent mask of disinterest, but Cat could practically see the wheels spinning in her head. She noted Jade's pursed lips, full and twisted, preparing to unleash some bitter thought. She read her like a book, which was funny because she really didn't read many books, and why would you say that about a face, a face doesn't look like a book does it? She felt herself spinning and pulled her focus back to her friend.

"He broke up with me." Jade's voice was so soft and stubborn it made Cat want to scream. "He told me he couldn't deal with the jealousy and the control and _everything_..." she trailed off, laughing bitterly. "He actually told me that he couldn't deal with _me_! Like I'm some kind of horrible burden!"

Cat felt that crazy hatred gallop through her head again. She reached out and set her hand on her friend's knee, face screwed up in concern. What a horrible thing to say! Jade was just... Jade. But then, for once, she caught herself. She had just been caught up in the same kind of jealousy Beck always felt and it was sobering. She hadn't focused on him at all except to wish he'd go away already. She never considered that Jade was stringing him along just was much as she was her. He put up with the same abuse, the same disdain and contempt, as everyone else in their group. It was probably worse because he loved a girl that didn't really love him back. At least, it sure didn't look to Cat like there was a lot of love there. Sure Jade cared about him, but they hadn't been close in a long time. Jade had spent more nights in Cat's bed than she did Beck's: and neither girl had been blind to Beck's peculiar 'break up' jokes during the Robarazzi incident.

Jade had been searching for a way out, even if she couldn't see it. She brushed Beck off so much he should just rename himself 'jacket' and get it over with. Everyone would watch as she strutted him out and flaunted him, kissing him obnoxiously whenever she knew there was an audience, proving to everyone just how _in control_ she was.

Honestly, Jade was a bitch. Cat suspected, however, that much like herself, Jade was possessing of a deeper nature. She also suspected that this was the reason for her callous exterior and confusingly contradictory actions.

"He was wrong to say that," Cat said simply. "But you have to be honest with yourself... I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on."

"What's going on is that Tori _fucking_ Vega fell into my life and tore it apart!" Jade kicked her purse across the floor as she flung her hands up in anger. "She shows up and just... just makes it look _easy_...!"

Cat's mind seemed to latch onto that last comment. "Makes what look easy?"

Jade pulled back into herself at the question and shook her head. She seemed to search for a moment, then said, "Everything. She makes _fucking everything_ look easy..." Her green eyes were swirling alarmingly, but it was a sort of focused fury.

Cat was having a hard time catching hold of Jade's point. There was some little thing that she was missing, but she wasn't sure if it was her fault. Perhaps the other girl just hadn't said the right thing to tie it all together yet. She could empathize with that. She put on a supportive face and tried to think of something to say. Preferably the _right_ thing. Jade was touchy at the best of times.

"She took Beck... and I let her." The quiet admission rolled out and a terrible, deathly silence followed; one in which Cat's heart twisted traitorously and Jade's voice echoed softly in suit. They sat there, frozen in the realization of the truth of the statement. Now that Jade said it out loud, Cat could see it had hit a different note in the girl. Jade hadn't expected to say that. Not that way, at least. An all-to-familiar expression had stolen over her dark features and it made Cat shiver. It was eerie to see yourself in someone else. There was a sudden and intense feeling of fragility to the moment, a spun-glass kind of delicacy that stressed under Cat's focus. She released it and tried to think of why Jade would let him go, but then she really couldn't come up with any reason why she wouldn't. It was like he was some sort of security blanket, clutched close for the strength to put on her daily facade. She didn't really need him, but she'd done a damn good job convincing herself otherwise. She had convinced almost everyone at Hollywood Arts.

"Well..." Cat couldn't think of anything to say. It must have been a first.

"I mean, I saw it happening and I tried, but not really..." Jade shook her head and growled in frustration. "I let him leave _me_! He _dumped_ me!"

Cat felt that puzzle piece falling into place. This wasn't about them, really. It was about her and her image. Jade was no longer part of 'Beck & Jade' the hot-to-trot A-list couple. She was going to have to just be 'Jade'; the thought looked like it frightened her.

"He was a fool," Cat's soft voice ventured out softly. She nodded to herself. That seemed like the right way to put it.

"He was right." Jade snapped back. "We should have been over ages ago. He was just the first to act on it."

Cat pondered this a moment. "So why are you mad at Tori?" She was eying Jade in confusion. She didn't think that Tori had done anything wrong. She didn't look at Beck any differently than Cat looked at Jade. She didn't linger touches too long or stare so hard she had to tear her gaze away from his eyes. She liked him, but she didn't beat anyone over the head with the fact.

Jade just stared at her, eyebrow twitching as she seemed to bite back a retort. She flung up her hands once more, sighing fiercely. "I don't know! She just waltzes in, with _no_ experience, no real _desire_ to be here, and takes everything! All of my friends, my boyfriend, my acting roles! I'm playing _chorus_ roles, Cat!"

Cat was sure she had shock plastered across her face. No one ever talked about what Jade did at Hollywood Arts. She was in class, and in productions, but she wasn't the buzz anymore. Tori Vega: she really was the only thing people talked about. She hadn't even considered professional jealousy from Jade. Not that Cat quite understood what it was like to be recognized for her talent like Jade was, but she didn't ever think the ferocious actress would have to worry about not being first.

"It'll fade, you know how new things are..." Cat's voice was disgustingly sweet again, trying to sooth and calm them both. She hadn't meant to set her off like this, she wasn't really trying to make things worse. She wasn't the best equipped for dealing with hysterical, hormonal girls in the midst of break ups. She wasn't the best for dealing with anyone.

Jade dropped her arms and flung herself back on the couch, slouching down to glare moodily into the distance. She was pouting, which Cat tried not to think of as cute (and failed miserably), and it made her look fragile.

Again with that word. Cat wondered why it kept trying to attach to her, as Jade was hardly ever fragile; quite usually something very different. But it didn't seem wholly inappropriate in this situation. Jade was Jade West, but she was also a teenage girl who'd had her heart broken. She _was_ fragile underneath her raging exterior.

Cat wanted to kiss her. She wrestled with the feeling for a moment, savoring the idea of just getting it over with, but decided unhappily that it probably wasn't very prudent. She wished her mind would figure out what it thought about this whole situation, but she wasn't going to hold her breath.

The television had gone silent and Cat realized that Jade was holding the remote. The little 'mute' icon was in the corner of the screen, and as Cat looked back her eyes finally caught with Jade's. There was a sort of quiet turmoil to them now, like the disturbed surface of a deep forest pond. She was almost calm, and it put the smaller girl on edge.

"I just want to forget about him. I'm tired of worrying about what he's doing and who's he's with... I don't care anymore." She pursed her lips and thought before continuing. "You're the only one I talk to about this kind of thing. I don't know why, but you make it easier..." Her eyes dropped to the remote and she idly ran her thumb over the buttons. "I don't know what that means."

Cat's breath caught in her throat and she felt like she was floating.

"I don't have friends, Cat." It was an honest statement. "People don't like me. Beck wanted to _fix_ me. He wanted to make me into this image he was holding in his _stupid_ boyish head, this girlfriend that was _his_..." She sat up and tossed the remote between them. "I don't belong to anyone."

Cat didn't miss a beat. Jade West owned _you_, not the other way around. Never the other way around. She knew that.

The sullen beauty stood suddenly, casting a glance upstairs.

"Can we just go to bed? I can't deal with this right now."

Cat nodded silently, flipping the television off and setting the remote back on the couch. She stood and followed Jade to her room, forcing herself to look at her feet as she went up the stairs, and _not_ at Jade's rather attractive bottom that was in front of her face.

Moments like this made her head swim.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Alright, Strong_Coffee is a girl, so my apologies for getting that wrong last chapter. She has received her cookies. ^^;**

**This was supposed to be a one-shot, then a trilogy, now it has truly turned multi-chapter. This is a short chapter as I had one overly long file that needed to be split to make sense and this is the only part able to be separated from the others. As always, please R&R! It makes my blood pump and my brain buzz, and then you guys get more story! Yay!  
**

They got ready for bed in continued silence, Jade disappearing to the bathroom to change as Cat quickly slipped into her over-sized sleep shirt. It was purple and had little dragons all over it. It made her think of Jade.

Cat slipped into her bed and clicked off the light. Jade wouldn't have any trouble finding her way in the dark and it made Cat feel safer. She wasn't sure how to cope with this particular situation. Unhinged Jade was just that. She made everything unreal and uncertain and Cat just didn't need the help with her swirling emotions. She knew she loved her; that was probably why, even after crying to the radio all day, she had cheerily picked up the phone and told Jade to come spend the night.

Her mouth was a traitor, in cahoots with her heart. She made a mental note to tell her parts to stop this nonsense because they were going to get her in trouble. She was really good at getting herself into trouble.

She heard her door creak open, then click shut again, and the soft sound of Jade's footfalls on the hardwood floor. The blankets lifted up and Jade slid in next to her, silently curling to cuddle closer. Cat acquiesced and turned on her side, feeling Jade slide so that they were back-to-front. She surpressed a shudder at the feeling of the other girl pressed so close, her arm snaking under the covers to drape loosely across her slender waist. She felt guilty for enjoying this. She shouldn't be taking pleasure out of Jade needing emotional comfort. That was sick. She closed her eyes and tried to ignore the fact that everywhere they touched it felt like fire. Jade's breath was tickling warmly on the back of her neck and it made her insides clench almost painfully. She let out a shuddering breath and set her arm over Jade's, sliding her fingers to intertwine with the actress' own.

They were toeing a line that Jade was possibly not even aware of. Cat scooted back until she was sure she couldn't get any closer, then settled. Jade moved her head slightly so that her lips were brushing against Cat's neck.

"Thank you..." Jade's whisper was so soft that Cat wouldn't have known she'd spoken at all if she hadn't felt the other girl's lips flutter against her skin. There was a seizing jump in her chest and she stifled a gasp. "For everything."

Cat had to close her eyes to collect herself. She gently squeezed Jade's hand and nodded. It was all she could manage. She felt like she was being torn in a billion different directions.

It was slow torture laying there, mind screaming with the feeling of fire where their skin touched; with the feeling of Jade's hot breath tickling the little hairs at the back of her neck; with the feeling of Jade's heart pounding against her back. She knew she was laying in the bed, but in her head it felt like she was falling. She couldn't take it, so she let herself fall, her traitorous body drinking in the physical sensations even as her overwhelmed mind flung itself over the edge. She didn't want to move, to change anything... but she also wanted to spin around and just _kiss_ her already.

Well, maybe not kiss her. Maybe just finally tell her what had been clawing up the walls of her mind for the last week. They were so close... Jade deserved to know that she loved her, and it didn't have to change anything, because she _talked_ to Cat and she never _talked_ with _anyone_!

Cat squirmed around until she was facing the now agitated girl and opened her eyes. Jade was wearing a look of weary irritation, but her heart wasn't in it.

"What?" Jade's voice was husky with sleep.

The little redhead paused, contemplating Jade's face in the dark. Her eyes were having trouble staying open, long lashes dipping to touch her pale cheeks many times. They settled there, finally, and Cat sighed. Maybe it was better not to say anything.

She wasn't going to lay there and pretend when no one could see her. She let her normal cheeriness drop and focused on studying the curves of Jade's face. It was always surprising to see this softer side of the girl. She almost looked innocent when she slept, like a angel or a baby or something equally poetic. She relaxed and all of the stress poured out of her face, leaving a soft grace that was beautifully unexpected. She loved this Jade. She loved the girl that would come wrap her in her arms, and lay her down, and let herself _relax_ with her. She loved that when Jade was broken, she came to her to be mended.

That thought bothered her mildly. She didn't love that she was hurt... she loved that she was the one to help. She hated to watch as she self-destructed: it was another of those all-too-familiar feelings. Jade shouldn't have to deal with the same kind of insanity she did.

Cat lay there in silent contemplation, her mind taking her through various scenarios as she imagined her lips doing something _very_ different from talking. She reassured herself that this was the way to cope, to just imagine what it would be like. She moved closer, tucking her head against Jade's chest and breathing in the scent of the girl's bodywash. Whatever it was, it smelled like chocolate. Jade's arm drew tighter around her and she smiled as she felt her nuzzle the top of her head.

It was kind of like the real thing, if she squinted and tilted her head to the left.

Cat had almost drifted off when she heard a soft murmur from Jade. The sound of her voice pulled her back to consciousness, but she was groggy and didn't know what was going on.

"I don't know what it means." Jade's whisper drifted into the silence. It took several seconds of blinking owlishly before Cat could think of anything to say.

"It means you think too much," she groaned softly, dreading the possibility that Jade would ruin the moment by trying to talk. "Go back to sleep..."

Jade seemed to stiffen at Cat's response. Cat wondered idly if Jade had thought her asleep, but decided that it didn't matter. She wasn't going to push anything. She just wanted to let her imaginings become dreamings and get on with the restful sleep that was hypothetically supposed to occur.

It was quiet then, the sound of Jade's heart the only thing in her ears, the gentle pounding beating out a rhythm that lulled her back to the cusp of sleep. As she drifted off she thought of puppies and daisies and chocolate...


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So... yeah. I guess you get two chapters in less than 12 hours. *lol* I'm working through some issues with Ch.5, so it may be a couple more days before I get it up. In the meantime, enjoy this double-dose of Focker! ...I meant, Cade. I totally meant Cade. . I need sleep. ^^;**

Morning was like some kind of ungodly explosion in Cat's head. She opened her eyes to the violently bright sunlight pouring through her window to find that she was alone in the bed. Immediately her mind kicked into action, tearing through reasons why Jade would be gone, why she would have taken off without saying anything. She jumped out of the bed and looked around the room. Jade's clothes were gone, as were her boots. The little redhead was getting ready to run out of her room when she heard the shower.

The steady pounding of the water against the tub was cut almost imperceptibly by the sound of Jade's rich voice. She was singing in the shower. Cat giggled, all the concern flying back out of her brain like wind through a window. She sat on her bed and listened as hard as she could, her heart skipping every time Jade's voice became clear.

Damn, she loved that girl.

She tried to decide if she should get dressed. She wasn't sure what Jade was planning to do: she _never_ woke up first. Deciding that she should be ready for anything, she pulled clothes out of her dresser and set them on top. She stood and looked at them for a moment, caught up in the play of colors on the tie-dye shirt she had chosen, and wondered what she was doing. She knew that Jade and Beck were done. She knew that Jade was here, with her, looking for support and comfort. She was just vague on exactly what the actress wanted her to do to help.

Cat heard the water turn off, and the tub creaked as Jade got out. She tried to get the image of a hot, wet Jade out of her head: it made a shiver slide up her spine. There were a lot of things about her friend that made her feel like that.

"What are you doing?"

Cat nearly jumped out of her skin, screaming in surprise as she spun around to find Jade standing behind her. In _her_ towel. Just her towel. She was unpleasantly aware of her mouth hanging open, but didn't seem able to shut it. Water drops slid enticingly down Jade's legs, tracing sinuous trails down smooth, pale skin. As she forced her eyes up from the well-toned distraction, she found herself staring at Jade's chest. It wasn't any better a place to leave her gaze, but she was finding it difficult to do anything except watch as each breath swelled and shrank under _her_ towel. She thought she might faint from the sudden rush of blood to her nethers.

"Hello? Cat?" Jade's voice wasn't sharp like it usually was. The difference was enough to snap Cat out of her reverie.

"Yes!" She snapped her eyes up to Jade's and smiled that disarming smile she was so (_too_) good at.

"One would think you'd never seen me before, the way you're staring." Jade smiled back, a quick half-smile that made Cat's heart melt. "I asked what you were doing."

"Nothing, just getting clothes ready!" Cat shook her head dismissively and moved to sit on the bed, averting her eyes from the temptress dripping on her floor. "I wasn't sure what you were doing..." She trailed off and risked a glance up. Why was Jade going through her dresser?

"I just needed to freshen up," Jade said as she off-handedly rifled through the drawers. "I thought maybe you'd want to stay in with me today."

Cat contemplated the idea as she watched Jade select a pair of her shorts and a tank top. She definitely wasn't dressing to go out. Jade didn't wear short shorts _out_. Jade didn't wear short shorts _anywhere_. Well, maybe to cover up her bottoms when she went to the beach... but Cat couldn't think of any other time, and the beach hardly counted.

"That would be nice," she said softly.

"We could watch that movie you keep talking about... what was it?" Jade closed the drawer and leaned on the dresser, one hand idly brushing her wet hair out of her eyes.

"_Black Swan_."

"Yeah, the Aronofsky film. I've heard good things about it."

Cat nodded dumbly. She didn't think she could handle that particular movie right exactly then, but her traitorous body was responding without her. Jade pursed her lips and stared at her, some unknowable thought swirling behind her eyes. It made her uneasy when Jade looked like that. She looked like a cat on the prowl.

"I'm going to go get changed. How about you close your blinds and pop it in?" The normal commanding tone was back in Jade's voice. It sounded like an order falling out of her perfect mouth. That shiver slid up Cat's spine again.

"'Kay, 'kay!" Sometimes she was glad she had automatic responses.

Jade cast yet another look at her and sauntered out of the room, swinging her hips alluringly. Surely not intentionally. Cat's brain told her to roll with it.

As soon as she was alone, Cat jumped up and dropped her blinds, twisting them shut and pulling the drapes across the window. It made it surprisingly dark. She leaned over her bed and flipped her lamp on: that was better. She moved to her DVD rack and scanned the titles, looking for the copy of the movie she had gotten from Sinjin. That boy had an endless supply of bootlegs: it would be a shame if he ever got caught. Cat had a feeling he wouldn't be burning her random new releases of questionable legality from jail.

She almost missed the thin case as it was too small for the rack and had fallen partway behind the other cases. Carefully she pulled it out and took the disc out, checking it for scratches before putting it in the DVD player. She tossed the case on the television and crawled back into bed, pulling the comforter up to cover her bare legs as she snuggled in. Her whole bed smelled like Jade and she rolled so that her face was pressed into the pillow. All snuggled in she could almost believe that the day was going to be perfect... if her brain would let her.

It dragged niggling thoughts of Beck to the fore, insinuating him into her every thought of Jade. Things were definitely not perfect. Jade was putting up a front, a shield to keep out the pain. She was fooling herself if she thought this was anything but a pity party for the green-eyed goddess. Jade just needed to feel needed. But it was alright, she thought, to fool yourself in cases like this. The lie was easier to stomach than the truth.

Cat rolled over as she heard her door click shut. Jade was sporting the short shorts and a blue tank top, the slightly too small clothes fitting to her curves in a way that left little to the imagination as she slunk over to the bed. The sultry vixen paused, arching an eyebrow and planting her hand on her hip at the sight of Cat up to her chin in blankets.

"Are you going to let me back in? Or am I spot-jacked?" A smile was playing over her full lips, her eyes shining in tandem. It was breath-taking.

Cat flipped the covers open and scooted over. Jade slipped in next to her and pulled the comforter up, laying back as Cat fumbled with her remote to try to get it to work. Her brother kept taking the batteries out for his Ycube 180 controller and she had resorted to hiding them under her pillow when she wasn't home. It was less frustrating to take them out and put them back in each time than it was to go try to find new ones whenever he randomly dropped in to pilfer. By the time she had the remote working, Jade had snuggled up to her and leaned her head on her shoulder.

"Why do you keep your batteries under your pillow?" Jade yawned as she asked the question, holding her hand over her mouth.

"My brother goes through my things." Cat thought that was sufficient explanation, but the look on Jade's face said differently. "He takes my batteries, and my movies, and my cupcakes, and-"

"Forget I asked." Jade chuckled.

Cat smiled and leaned her head on top of her friend's, starting the movie with a push of a button. She hoped watching a psychological thriller at eight in the morning wouldn't break her brain.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Alright, chapter five... this came out a little strange to me, but I couldn't figure out how to rework it, so this is what you get. *lol* There will be more, I just had to post this before the chapter got obnoxiously long.**

**Thanks for reading; please, please, please review. It warms the cockles of my heart.**

**Rating has been bumped to M for lime-flavored teenage angst.  
**

It wasn't as tough to sit through as Cat thought it would be. Laying curled up in Jade's arms, the smaller girl spent the majority of the movie just sighing happily and smiling every time Jade jumped. She thought it was funny that a movie could make the usually stolid girl react like that. Jade always seemed so tough, so unshakable, that the idea of a movie about ballet freaking her out made Cat want to break into peals of laughter.

Instead, she stifled it and let herself enjoy the time for what it was. Jade had tangled herself up with the smaller girl early on in the movie, legs hooked to Cat's with her arms cradling her close. Jade had a surprisingly strong cuddle-instinct, despite the fact that she didn't ever seem to want physical contact anywhere but at home. Cat tried not to read into it, knowing this, but it didn't silence the little voice in the back of her head that was encouraging her to take advantage of the situation.

If Jade wanted to stay in and cuddle while watching suspenseful movies, that meant that she wanted to spend time with Cat, right? The little redhead nodded to herself, fixing the idea in her head. That had to be it. Jade wouldn't just be here like this because she was lonely: Jade West didn't do lonely.

Cat glanced up at the screen, trying to gauge how much time she had left. Natalie Portman was sitting in a bar, talking to some guy about Swan Lake: Cat figured she only had about forty minutes until their little snug-fest was going to end. She set her head back on Jade's shoulder and wondered what was going through her head. The other girl hadn't said a word the whole movie, which must have set some sort of new record seeing as she normally busted out her overly acerbic wit every chance she got. She just lay there, arms wrapped almost possessively about Cat, and watched in silent contemplation.

Jade let out a short laugh as the characters came under the effects of their club drugs, and her lips lifted. She was smiling in an almost empathetic way: Cat felt her skin prickle at the knowledgeble look in her friend's eyes. A brief wondering at what that look meant flitted through her head. It was quickly quashed by a thought that told Cat she might be better off not finding out.

As the scene went on, Jade tightened her arms around the smaller girl and nuzzled her hair. Cat's heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest. She could feel Jade's hot breath on the top of her head, could hear her heartbeat speeding up in her chest. The characters were dancing now, lights flashing as they cavorted around, draped over each other in a haze of drugs and alcohol. Jade's grip didn't let up.

Cat could have sworn that their pulses had synchronized. Each time the hollow thud sounded from Jade's chest, she could feel a corresponding throbbing in her own body, the sound a bass rendition in stereo. She felt light-headed, which she had never thought possible when one was laying down. Chocolate brown eyes slid shut as she tried to steady her breathing. She was acutely aware of every place their bodies touched, a feeling like warm molasses spreading from the points of contact.

Cat thought molasses candy sounded good right about now.

There was a break in the music and she could picture the scene change perfectly. She had probably seen the movie five or six times before this: this viewing was simply an excuse to have snuggle time. As the movie progressed, Cat sighed and opened her eyes, watching Jade's face. She wondered what the actress was going to think about her after they were done with the movie. She had talked non-stop about it, never really expecting anyone she knew to care enough about what she thought to actually go see it. Now, the very girl that had shown such disdain for anything she was 'supposed' to see, was on the edge of her seat: figuratively. Cat waited with baited breath for her reaction to the upcoming events.

Jade's green eyes shone with the reflection of the television, revealing what looked to Cat like excitement. Her heart skipped faster. She felt a blush creep up her face as the sounds of sex rolled out from the speakers, but Jade's face stayed flat and unreadable. Her eyes were the only giveaway, the twin windows into her mind thrown open to let out her thoughts. There was brief lull in sound and Cat looked up just in time to see 'Lily' hook her arms under 'Nina's' legs and drop her mouth to their junction. She quickly averted her eyes, but the damage was done and she could feel the hot flush spreading in her own nethers. She moved her gaze back to Jade's face and squeaked.

Their eyes met and Cat realized that Jade had been staring at her, something feral clouding the deep green orbs just a matter of inches from her own dark ones. She shivered, feeling sick and excited at the same time. Jade didn't say anything, she just stared enigmatically, one hand resting on Cat's side and toying with the fabric of her shirt. Tchaikovsky's masterful composing set a frighteningly epic tone to the moment.

If someone had asked her to describe the feeling she would have mentioned drowning and evisceration as descriptors. She was pretty sure she had yet to breathe in again, and her insides felt like they'd been scooped out, leaving a gaping hole that threatened to implode upon itself. She was caught like a rabbit in a snare: her mind kicked and flailed, seeming to make her further incapable of pulling herself away from that penetrating gaze.

There was a beat of silence, then Jade leaned in, her nose bumping into Cat's as she stared her down. Their breath mingled, parted lips mere centimeters apart.

"Cat..." Jade's voice was husky. She swallowed audibly and closed her eyes. "I..."

The small redhead shivered and felt her last ounce of resolve fail. She tilted her head to the side and stretched up, soft lips pressing to full ones in a soft and hesitant kiss. Her mind screamed at her to stop, to pull back, to stammer out an apology and fix what she was surely ruining.

Then Jade was kissing her back.

It was slow and uncertain, a practice of sorts, a way of testing the water: Cat was blown away. Jade had rolled on her side with one arm under Cat's head, the other now moved from her waist to the small of her back, pulling her closer. The little singer could feel Jade's thigh slide between her own and she gasped, pulling back from the kiss.

The untamed actress was panting lightly, eyes flashing as her leg continued its journey north to press firmly against Cat's center. She shuddered and a low moan rolled traitorously from from her mouth. Jade took that as her cue and recaptured her lips aggressively, the bare skin of her thigh sliding across the thin fabric of Cat's panties and eliciting yet another moan. Her tongue slid sinuously along Cat's bottom lip, entreating to be let in. Cat obliged, parting her lips, and she almost fainted as she felt Jade's strong tongue slide against her own; tasting her, exploring her, mapping her out. Her best friend tasted like mangoes. She had a hold of the front of Jade's tank top, fingers knotted tightly in the fabric, pulling her closer as they battled for superiority, both of them lost in the new sensation.

Cat could hear the television, but the music, the words... it was all meaningless next to what Jade was doing to her. The rational part of her brain told her that this was a horrible idea, that they had irreversibly crossed a line; the rest of it exploded with the bliss of finally being touched, wielding a hormonal mallet against the whisperings and tuggings of her good sense. She whimpered and she could feel Jade smile into the kiss. Her panties were quickly dampening, becoming uncomfortable as Jade continued to lavish attention on the throbbing that was raging through Cat's nethers.

There was a momentary pause and she found herself rolled over onto her back, Jade sliding on top of her to resume her firm grind as she trailed hot kisses along the little redhead's jawline.

Cat gasped as a hungry mouth attached to her throat, sucking fervently. Jade nipped her and she arched up, straining for contact, her mind spinning in a dizzying parody of free-fall. She railed against herself, trying to regain control: this was going way too fast.

"Ja-a-de..." It was whining plea, begging. She shivered again. "Jade, please..."

The aggressive girl pulled back, leaving a wet trail on Cat's neck. Green eyes moved to meet her gaze and she could see the confusion sliding like oil across them, masking the want underneath.

"We... we have to stop..." Cat couldn't believe she was saying it, but her heart was hurting in a whole new way now. She didn't want it to be like this... she didn't want to take advantage of Jade when she was hurting. She wished she had never put that damn movie in. "Please, Jade..."

Jade's face fell flat and she rolled off, turning to lay with her back towards her. She was silent, still, frozen. Cat wanted to cry out for her to come back, to hold her again, but she was still having trouble forming sentences. They lay there in continued silence, Cat's heart slowing gradually as she gripped feebly at the remaining tendrils of her mind. She felt the tears pooling in the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill out as she wrestled with the new pain cutting through her chest. This was all wrong... this wasn't how it was supposed to happen. She wanted Jade to want her, _really_ want her, not to be taking her because she could. The little singer felt like she was being smothered, the want and hurt and need and _everything_ piling up on top of her like a mountain. She felt sick.

There was a creak as Jade sat up, swinging her legs out to set her feet on the floor. She sat on the edge of the bed, ignoring the movie as it played out at obnoxious volume, her hands clutching the mattress in white-knuckled fists. Cat rolled towards her, reaching out to set her hand on her back. Jade flinched as her fingers brushed against her shoulder. She sat up, finding some hidden reserve of gumption, and slid her arms around Jade's waist, pressing herself close up against her back.

"Jade, I'm sorry..." Her voice was a barely audible whisper. "I w-want to... I do... but you're-"

"I'm _what_?" Jade snapped, her voice hard.

"...you're all I want."

There was a moment where she thought the other girl was going to rip her arms open and bolt, but instead, she slumped dejectedly into her embrace. Jade released her grip on the bed and moved her arms to cover Cat's, keeping her pressed close.

"What is this...?"

Cat thought about it for a moment, then dropped a kiss at the nape of her neck. "It's us." Her voice was strained tight as she whispered the words against the soft skin beneath her lips. She couldn't explain it. It wasn't some sudden shock, one specific moment that made her realize that they loved each other, but she knew that she loved Jade at least a _little_ bit more than the brunette bombshell loved her. At the very least, a little.

Jade let out a dry laugh. "What kind of answer is that?"

Cat took a deep breath, trying to organize her thoughts into a proper explanation. She didn't have words for what she felt. She was positive what she knew was true, but she couldn't tell someone how she came to the answer.

Jade grabbed the remote form the side table and shut of the television, cutting the seemingly shrieking orchestra music.

"We're just... us." Cat shuddered at how small and fragile her voice sounded in the sudden silence. "I... we just... fit."

The words rang through her head, laughingly weak. What kind of thing was that to say? She had waited for this moment, her declaration of love, and now that it was here she couldn't even come up with a proper reason why she felt the way she did.

Jade ran her fingers over Cat's arm, sending shivers up the small girl.

"I don't know what this means."

Cat really wished she would quit saying that.

Jade continued softly. "I mean that I... I'm so confused right now..." She leaned into Cat as she trailed off sadly.

The smaller girl pressed yet another kiss onto her neck, tightening her arms around her waist. She felt the light moan that rumbled in the back of Jade's throat and it made her flush with heat.

"We go together, we have since we met." Cat nuzzled into Jade's long hair. "We _belong_ together... like penguins or something."

"But Beck..." Jade's voice cracked. "I love him, I do..."

Cat's heart twisted painfully as she nodded into the mane of hair in front of her. "I know."

Jade turned around in her arms and looked pleadingly into her eyes. "What am I supposed to do?"

Cat had never seen Jade look so vulnerable. She slid her arms down to rest her hands on Jade's hips, sighing softly.

"Wait," she murmured sullenly. "I'm not going anywhere, Jade. I'll always be your girl." She leaned in slowly, initiating a soft kiss. Jade kissed her back, one hand reaching up to tangle in her red velvet hair as Cat pushed closer. It was gentle, but it felt more perfect than anything the little singer could have imagined.

It was real.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: So, this is another fairly short chapter. I kind of wrote myself into a corner, but I think I have it figured out, so I'll go ahead an post this.**

**I apologize for my sporadic updates, something like WW3 is happening in my life right now, so I'm spending more time with that than writing.**

**This is just setting up for the next long chapter. If anyone has any suggestions for what they'd like to see, I'd love to hear about it in a review! *lol* Remember, reviews are an author's bread and butter... and you don't want me to starve, do you?**

**Do you? _**

Cat felt like she was in some kind of love-limbo. After the 'incident', she and Jade had gone out to spend the day at the mall, playing normal as well as they could with recent events hanging heavy in their minds. Jade distracted her with the Sanrio store and the little singer ooh'd and aww'd over all of the plushies, picking out a little Badtz-Maru that made her think of her friend. She bopped through the mall with the plushie under her arm and hummed happily, casting wide, loving smiles at Jade.

Jade followed along in her usual somber mood, though she sent her own veiled glances towards the smaller girl. She played the card of indifference, but Cat knew better now. It was a point of amazement to her that Jade could be so put-together all of the time. She knew her own feelings were obvious to anyone that stopped long enough to really look.

They killed time sitting in the food court, Jade using a little pair of scissors on her fries while Cat prattled on about everything she could think of. Everything that had nothing to do with what had happened in her room.

The subject had been over as soon as their last kiss. Jade had wiped the tears from Cat's face and smiled at her, saying that they would talk about it later. Cat knew that meant they'd talk about it if/when Jade felt like it, but she could wait. Jade was too important to her to risk messing anything up. So she put on her smile (_that effortless lie_) and suggested they go to the mall. It wasn't really Jade's favorite activity, but Cat knew that she was looking for a distraction. At least at the mall she had plenty of opportunity to ridicule others. Cat wondered why she felt like she had to be so critical, but she had a feeling it had to do with the girl's overly stern father. Knowing the tense relationship between father and daughter made it a logical leap. She also suspected that he was part of the reason Jade was confused about liking her. Somehow, Cat didn't think he would take it very well if, not only was his daughter a 'silly' actress, but she had broken up with Beck and moved on to Catarina Valentine.

Cat paused in her ramblings and pondered Jade. The girl had run out of fries to massacre and was in the process of cutting up the paper basket they had come in. She smiled sadly. Jade _must_ be stressed out if she was going scissor-happy. She suspected it was her way of channeling a much more destructive urge.

"What do you wanna do now?" she asked, leaning her head on her hand. Jade paused mid-cut and pursed her lips. Cat grinned: she loved when she did that. She couldn't look away from those lips, even if a car crashed right next to her.

"I don't know." Jade set the scissors down. "I really don't want to go home."

Cat opened her mouth to offer her place as a refuge, but Jade cut her off.

"And I don't know if I can handle... the alternative." Jade stared at the pile of severed fries in front of her. Uneasiness was painted like graffiti over her face, a look she bore no better than the myriad of brick walls that fell victim to that form of visual vandalism.

Cat reached over the table and set her hand on Jade's. She bit her lips and frowned, trying to come up with the right words. This wasn't the place to bring everything up.

"There's nothing to handle," she said, finally. "We're just 'us'. We always hang out."

Jade pondered her words, her hand still as death beneath Cat's little fingers.

"I think that's the problem..."

Cat sighed and pulled her hand back, placing it on her lap.

"It's not a problem: I won't make it one. Plus," she went on in more vapid tone of voice, "penguins go for months without seeing their mates."

Jade's eyebrows curled in together as her face contorted. "I'm not a penguin."

"No, you're a Jade. The only one of your kind." She tossed a soft smile out as she finished speaking, her eyes seeking out Jade's expressive green ones, catching her gaze and not backing down. "You're like a fire that sucks the oxygen out of a room."

"That doesn't make me sound good," Jade deadpanned.

"You're a force to be reckoned with is all." Cat picked up her plushie and engrossed herself in an unnecessary examination of his spikey 'hair'. She felt like something was stirring in her chest, so she took a deep breath and said, "I don't know what I'm going to do about you."

Jade shook her head, a pained look on her face. "I don't know what to do about anything."

"We're like the blind leading the blind," Cat muttered. "We have to feel for the ditch so we don't fall in... but we have to do the work ourselves. If we hold on to each other, we'll both fall in if there's a misstep."

Jade was staring at her, a look of open amazement replacing her previous discomfort. She knew Jade's brain was trying to deal with the fact that she, Cat, had said something more than halfway intelligent. It hurt her that even Jade, her beautiful Jade, often wrote her off as being of sub-par intellect. She didn't have a lot of reason to focus when she wasn't on stage, but this way just as serious as remembering your cues, or hitting the right notes, or perfecting your musical theory paper. She needed Jade to see how serious she was.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'll... I'll be here, because you're my best friend, Jade." She plastered her smile back on, eyes sliding nervously from Jade's face to her hands, then back again. "Don't worry about it all right now."

The tall brunette sighed. "Easier said than done."

"Just try not to... nothing has to change." Cat hated the words as they fell from her lips. Her heart told her it was a lie, that she knew she wouldn't be able to resist the urges to stare at, and touch, and generally flirt with the actress. She was wrapped around Jade's little finger, there was no way around it. "W-we just go on like normal."

Jade arched an eyebrow at her, a familiar look creeping over her face. "Normal is hardly the word I would choose for either of us."

Cat thought about it for moment before replying. "Maybe something next to normal, then."

Jade laughed dryly, shaking her head.

They got up, tossed their trash in the bin, and walked through the afternoon heat to Jade's car.

Cat wasn't sure what was going to happen next. Jade had been sending mixed signals all day, and really, she just wanted the girl to come home with her. She wanted to be back in her arms, snuggled up under her big, pink comforter. Really, she thought she might just be in heaven at that point. It would be a step in the right direction.

She came back to herself as Jade beeped the car open and swung into the driver's seat. The metal of the door handle was uncomfortably hot under Cat's fingers: she quickly jerked the door open and let go.

"Ow!" she cried, shaking her hand. "That hurt..."

Jade arched an eyebrow at her, but reached out and beckoned her to sit down. "Let me look at," she sighed, feigning irritation.

Cat proffered the singed extremity and Jade placed a light kiss on her fingertips, sending chills up her spine in a way that totally contradicted the uncomfortable heat. As she stared down at her fingertips, she felt like Jade was trying to stare a hole through her, her skin flushing at the feeling of her gaze.

Suddenly the feeling was gone, and by the time Cat looked up, Jade had already started the car and begun to back out. She watched her in puzzlement, settling back into her seat and buckling her seat-belt as she tried to figure out where they were going. Her companion had turned quite the wrong direction if she wanted to end up at either of their houses.

They drove for some time, Jade taking the highway out along the beach. Cat amused herself with watching the seagulls as they swooped and dove through the air, making daring attempts to snatch food out of innocent beach-goers' hands. She giggled and thought that it must be fun to be a seagull.

Eventually they circled back to towards Hollywood, Jade hopping off of the highway and winding snake-like through the side streets. The sun was down and the Saturday night crowd was getting into the swing of things. Carloads of rowdy twenty-somethings moved past them blaring dance music so loudly it seemed their cars should shake apart, and there was a serious traffic jam threatening, as two Hummer stretch limos seemed to have tried occupying the same stretch of road simultaneously. Jade quickly turned off yet another side street and managed to find her way out on the other side of the mess.

Cat started recognizing street names and realized that Jade must be taking her home. She wasn't sure what any of the day had meant, but the sunset drive along the beach made her head spin. Neither of them had said a word the entire trip, other than Cat singing along to the radio at maximum volume. It was an awkward sort of silence as Jade pulled into Cat's driveway and turned the car off, the ticking of the engine like white noise in the background. She was still looking ahead, her hand resting on the keys in the ignition.

"Don't suppose you'll put up with me for another night." Jade sighed, like she really thought she was imposing.

Cat grinned and reached across to the steering console, placing her hand over Jade's and pulling the keys out of the ignition.

"I didn't suppose you'd want to put up with _me_... you know you're always welcome."

Jade carefully turned her gaze to Cat and cocked her head in thought. She seemed to come to a decision and nodded.

"Pizza for dinner?" Jade waved her PearPhone at her passenger. "I can have it delivered here."

Cat nodded eagerly and rambled off topping choices, hardly noticing what she was doing as she followed Jade through her house and up to her room, the thought of food (_glorious food_) overriding almost everything else in her mind.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Alrighty! I'm back with Ch.7 goodness! At least, I hope it's good. *lol* Seventeen cigarettes and a two-liter of Mountain Dew later, I'm starting to think maybe this chapter deviated from where it was supposed to go. ^^; Once again, please to be reviewing. Let me know how things are going and what you'd like to see. Other than caffeine and nicotine, reviews are what keep me writing! XD  
**

They watched television while they waited for the pizza; some show about lawyers, or doctors, or maybe cops... Cat couldn't be sure, as she was too focused on the girl curled up next to her on the bed.

Jade was still in her jeans and long-sleeved black shirt, one hand resting on Cat's leg while the other played absent-mindedly with her extensions. There was an air of tension about them, though if anything, it just made it easier to accept the touch. Cat was starting to sort through the day, her mind reeling through the events like a movie, noting important plot points and foreshadowing.

Fact: Jade had tried to have sex with her. Cat shivered at the thought and Jade cast a curious glance at her. She just smiled and turned back to the television.

Fact: After the crazy events of the morning, Jade hade elected to not only spend the day with her, but another night as well.

Fact: Jade had kissed her burned fingers, taken her on a sunset drive, then offered to buy her pizza.

Fact: Cat Valentine was in love.

She milled the thought about in her mind, examining it from every angle. She couldn't seem to find any other conclusion. She loved Jade and the stolid actress wasn't running away screaming at the thought. She was starting to think that Jade liked her more than she knew. They had always been close, as close as Jade would let anyone get; but there were touches now, looks. Even through the haze of breaking up with Beck, Jade was finding it in herself to reach out, to ask for the love and support she so surely needed. She was asking for it in a strange way, but Cat wouldn't turn down her advances as long as she was reasonable. She wanted Jade to see her for what she was: a best friend... with potential.

Cat gently took Jade's hand in her own, sliding her fingers across the smooth skin on top before interlocking their fingers. Jade gave her hand a soft squeeze and she could have sworn she saw the vestige of a smile playing on her lips.

They stayed that way until the delivery guy showed up, Jade breaking away from their contact and disappearing downstairs to collect the food.

Once again the sound of the television seemed overly loud, so Cat sat up and found the remote, lowering it considerably as Jade waltzed back into her room with an armful of pizza boxes.

"Alright... cheese in the bottom, whatever else you wanted in the top." Jade risked a glance at the top pizza and made a face. "What _did_ you get on this one?"

Cat grinned and grabbed the box, setting it on the bed next to her. "Chicken, onions, mushrooms, black olives, green peppers, banana peppers-"

Jade leaned over as she sat down and grabbed Cat's chin, tilting her head up and kissing her lightly. It was a rather effective way to shut her up.

"Just eat it, I don't need the _entire_ rundown." She sat back and opened her own box, studiously ignoring the way Cat's mouth was furiously working for a response.

Deciding that she was hungrier than she was flustered, Cat solved her idle mouth problem by stuffing it full of hot pizza, devouring piece after piece like she hadn't eaten in years.

They quickly polished off most of their order, the remaining slices getting tossed into the same box and set on the dresser. Cat took the opportunity to run it down to the fridge, grabbing two cans of soda before heading back up. She felt like such a bad host. Drinks should have been the first thing she grabbed when she came home.

As she pushed open her door, she was treated to the sight of the once again scantily-clad form of Jade crawling into her bed. She had put on the short shorts and tank top again. Cat could feel the blush traveling up her cheeks, and she handed the drinks to Jade before excusing herself to the bathroom to change.

Within minutes she was in her sleep shirt, teeth brushed and hair pulled back, ready to go back and attempt to sleep next to the girl that made her feel like a million volts were coursing through her. Well, almost ready. She had to take a few steadying breaths before she could bring herself to go back to her room.

Jade was laying on her side with her head propped on her hand, covers pulled up over her legs and a look of intense contemplation on her face as Cat moved almost mouse-like to crawl in next to her.

"You're in my spot," Cat ventured softly, flicking off her table lamp as she pulled the covers up over them both.

Jade laughed quietly, sounding genuinely amused. "Oh really?" she asked. "Well, if it's a problem..."

Cat was going to tell her it was alright, but the words died in her throat as Jade slid her body over hers, holding herself up so that they were barely touching.

"Scoot over, kitten." Jade's voice was dangerously soft, a hint of amusement playing over her features as the smaller girl blushed and slid to occupy 'her' half of the bed. Cat felt her heart starting to pound and wondered if she was going to get _any_ sleep that night. She thought her head might explode if Jade called her 'kitten' again.

They settled in, Jade spooning against her curled body, her hand finding its way to Cat's slim waist and sliding around to pull her closer. She could feel the other girl's breath against her neck as her fingers traced nonsensical patterns across her stomach. Every little movement sent another shock through Cat's body and she had to bite back a low moan. Jade's fingers were brushing along the top of her panties, deft fingers tracing the elastic through her over-sized shirt. It brought her mind to a halt while simultaneously revving her body up like a race car.

They had lain in silence for so long that Cat figured Jade had dropped off, her fingers still where they had tangled in the dragon-covered sleep shirt. But as she tried to calm her nerves enough to drift off, she was surprised by Jade's hand sliding along her side, down to the hem of her shirt where it nonchalantly slipped under and moved back over her hip to settle once again on her stomach. She sucked in a sharp breath at the contact and almost cried out as Jade placed a feathery kiss on her neck.

Then another. Then another.

Cat rolled to face her, to ask what she was doing, but was caught off-guard once more as Jade leaned in to capture her lips in a gentle kiss. It wasn't rough or rushed like it was that morning. Jade was testing her boundaries, seeing how far she could take it before Cat would tell her 'no'. The little singer did moan this time, a small, strangled sound that escaped past her lips as Jade broke away to look at her.

Deep green eyes peered uncertainly at her, seemingly nervous about the situation. Cat managed to find the time to note how sweet it was that Jade was weakened by her, made to act like any other 'normal' girl would under the same circumstances. She loved the girly side that only she got to see: it just reaffirmed her suppositions about the girl's character.

Cat bit her lip and reached a hand up to cup Jade's face, sliding smoothly against her soft skin. She felt like her insides were being pressed into nothing by the weight of her emotion, an almost stifling wave of love, want, and uncertainty. She wanted to scream, so she smiled instead, and leaned in.

Soft lips met in a heated kiss, Cat's eyes fluttering shut as Jade began running her fingers up and down her ribcage. She thought briefly that it was exactly what she had been trying to avoid that morning, but with the object of her affections raining passionate kisses upon her, it was hard to remember exactly why she had wanted to stop. She raised her hand and cupped Jade's face, the heat of the moment overwhelming her already scrambled attempts to regain a semblance of control.

Soon, they were locked together in a flood of emotion, hands wandering aimlessly across heated flesh as eager lips contended for superior position. Cat soon won the battle despite her diminutive size, pushing Jade onto her back as she pressed close and ran her tongue along her bottom lip. As Jade allowed her to deepen the kiss, warnings rang through her head, screaming out caution as the actress placed her hands on her hips and pulled her closer. She tried to ignore the blaring klaxons in her mind, tried desperately to shut out the flashing signs in neon colors that burned trails like comets through her consciousness. It was wrong, she knew that: but stopping was like putting her hand out in front of a speeding train.

It felt like a furnace under the blankets, and Cat soon found herself gasping for air. As she broke away from the kiss, Jade quirked her eyebrows questioningly, a worried look on her face.

"Too much?" she asked, her wavering voice showing her concern.

Cat nodded her head, then shook it, then nodded again. She sighed heavily, trying to slow herself down. Too fast, she reminded herself. Too fast.

"I... can we just..." Cat's voice was frustrated, her confusion over the situation disrupting her speech. "...can we just snuggle, or something that's not... y'know..."

Jade chewed her lip for a moment, then nodded. Her face was flushed, but her eyes had abruptly gone flat. She released her hold on Cat's hips and allowed her to cuddle up against her side.

"Jade, I-"

"Don't worry about it." The tone of Jade's voice was anything but reassuring.

"But Jade, I do worry!" Cat blurted out, the words pushing up out of her throat like word-vomit. "I worry all of the time!"

Jade turned her head to look at the suddenly frantic redhead.

"I worry so much that it feels like I'm imploding, or exploding, or _something_-ploding; and all the while it feels like my heart's in a vise, and I can't breath, and I feel like I'm going to be sick, and it's what I think a smoothie must feel like getting all blended and having all of its parts mixed around so that you can't tell one part from another, and-"

Jade silenced her by placing her finger on her lips, shushing her softly. Her face softened and she pulled her close, leaning her head on top of Cat's.

"I don't know what this is anymore. What we are. I'm... I'm just trying to figure it out." It sounded strange, the uncertainty in her voice. "I have all of these _feelings_..."

Cat could feel her shaking her head in frustration. _She_ knew what it was. She knew what they were becoming.

She knew why it scared the chiz out of Jade.

Jadelyn West, if anything, was a control-freak. She maintained a tight grip on all things around her, hoping to keep her world in order by strangling it into submission. She wasn't good with emotions, she wasn't good with people: she usually kept everyone at arm's length because it meant she didn't have to expose herself.

Cat wrapped her arm around Jade's waist and hugged her tightly. She wished she could find the right words, the magical phrase that would make everything click into place and work like her heart told her it should. But alas, words failed her and she was left with an annoying buzz much akin to white noise that filled her mind like cotton. The redhead sighed softly and nuzzled against Jade's cheek.

"Me too," she whispered. "But maybe... maybe we don't need to know. Maybe we just need to let it be whatever it's going to be."

Jade let out a long, slow breath, then muttered, "I don't know about that..."

Cat tilted her head and looked up at her friend; she could feel the weight of her emotion like it was a tangible thing, a net of steel cinching around her as she drank in Jade's sullen countenance.

"I said we didn't need to _know_... just... don't think."

Jade glanced down at her and Cat could see the thoughts whirling behind her eyes.

"Maybe _you_ can do this without thinking, but my situation is a little more complicated."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Cat huffed and poke Jade in the side.

"Hey!" Jade frowned at her.

"_You're_ the one that started this!" There was anger in her voice, a sharpened edge to her normally airy tone. "Don't act like you're innocent! _You_ kissed _me_! _You_ came to _me_ when chiz got jank with Beck!"

Jade's face was plastered with shock. She had never heard Cat even allude to knowing how to curse; in any way, shape, or form.

"Stop lying to me and stop lying to _yourself_!" Cat felt tears welling up in her eyes and she tried to blink them back. It really wasn't a good time to be bringing any of this up, but her mouth was already going, and her love-addled brain certainly wasn't going to put up a fight. "This isn't new, this isn't something that just _happened_!"

Jade pulled away and sat up, eying Cat with a mixture of irritation and wariness.

"Listen, Valentine-"

"No!" Cat cut her off, shaking her head as the tears finally escaped, sitting up to lock gazes with the ruffled actress. "_You_ listen! I... I'm not trying to hurt you!" Her shoulders shook as she bit back a sob. "This is... this is too important to just rush in a make a mess of it!"

Jade looked as if she was trying to decide whether or not to bolt. She dropped her gaze to the space between them and fidgeted uncomfortably.

"Cat, I'm so messed up right now."

The redhead brushed a hand across her eyes, wiping the tears out of her vision.

"I know you are! We _both_ are... this is like some sort of sordid play, some Shakespearean tragedy, and it should be a love story! Romeo and Juliet without all of that icky death in the end..." She sniffled, trying to stem the flood of traitorous words that were spilling her deepest feelings out like a broken dam. "I look at you and a hole opens up inside of me, and it feels like everything good in the world just falls in and disappears. I can't breathe, I can't think, I can't do anything without wondering what you'll say or do. You make me happy, and sick, and scared all at once! Don't act like you're the only one suffering over this."

Jade sat in silence as she stared torpidly through the bed. Her shoulders were hunched, as if to ward off the blows of Cat's words, and she was once again chewing her lip.

"Stupid Beck..." Cat's whisper was barely audible. "Why did _he_ get your heart?"

They sat for a long time before either girl said anything else. Cat was taking advantage of her mouth finally stopping and didn't want to risk opening it again.

Jade sighed heavily, forcing her eyes back into focus and looking back up at Cat.

"He didn't." The words were strangled, like they had to fight their way out of her throat. "Beck was..." She trailed off, searching for the right word. "...convenient."

Cat felt a spark of hope bloom in her chest.

"He's a good guy, I love him. But I'm not..." Jade shook her head and chewed harder on her lip. Cat was afraid she would draw blood, the way she was worrying it. "I'm not _in love_ with him. Not like I thought I was."

"So what-"

"You've met my father." Jade made it sound like that was all the explanation that was needed.

Cat nodded, but she wasn't satisfied. Jade's father was definitely a hard man, one not given to whims of the heart. He was also not around most of the time. He worked late hours, never really took an interest in Jade's school work (except for coming to see 'Well Wishes'), and was generally indifferent to her activities. She doubted he would notice if Jade suddenly picked up a girlfriend, especially since they never went over to her house.

"Jade, I don't know if I can deal with all of this right now. I was trying so hard, but now..." Cat sighed despondently. "Now I'm more confused and more unsettled, and really, I just want things to be how they were."

The taller girl nodded and looked at her pile of clothes next to the bed.

"I can go," she said, bending over to grab her shirt and pants. "I get it."

But that wasn't what Cat had meant, and the very thought of Jade just up and disappearing on her after everything that had happened made her want to throw up.

"No!" Well, thought Cat sarcastically, that didn't sound desperate _at all_. She tried to compose herself before trying again. "No, please. You don't have to go."

Jade dropped her clothes back on the floor and turned to look at her.

"I just... I just want to go to sleep." Cat reached out and took Jade's hand in hers. "Please, stay. For tonight." She could see the conflict in Jade's face, the indecision. "Stay and be my penguin."

Jade snorted. "Abandon you to starve for six months while I run out and stuff my face?"

Cat giggled at the mental image and shook her head, her tears finally dried up. "No, silly! Act like you just got _back_ from stuffing your face. Come lay down with me." She tugged on Jade's hand, laying back and trying to pull her down next to her. Jade acquiesced silently, sliding back under the covers and letting her snuggle up once more.

They lay in silence, each tending to their own twisting thoughts as they tried to fall towards the realm of sleep. Cat no longer felt sick, instead, suffering a dull ache in her heart that twinged with every breath. She closed her eyes and focused on the sound of Jade's heart beating in her ear, on the gentle rise and fall of her chest with each deepening breath. Soon, she felt herself slipping over that elusive edge, falling into a deep and peaceful blackness that rescued her for a time from the insanity of her waking life.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: In celebration of breaking the 1,000 visitor mark on this story, I present you with both a 4k+ word chapter AND lemony goodness!**

**It's intense! Like the sun! Do not look directly into the hotness! Do not collect irreparable retinal damage!**

**...or do, it's really up to you.**

**I suppose if I'm going to be moving this story along, I finally ought to write one of those pesky disclaimers. So...**

**DISCLAIMER: Victorious? Not mine. Not no way, not no how! Good thing, just look what I'd do with it. *laughs***

Cat came awake gradually, a slow and steady thumping echoing through her mind. She lay with her eyes closed and savored the warmth of her bed, floating on the gentle pulse of bass that matched her own heartbeat. She wondered if she was listening to her own heart in her ears, but as she opened her eyes, she realized the true source of the noise.

She was still wrapped around Jade's body; their legs were tangled, her arm wrapped tightly around her waist, her head still resting on her chest. So _that_ was what the sound was. She smiled and closed her eyes again, simply enjoying their closeness. Jade had an arm curled around her shoulders, her head leaning heavily with sleep against Cat's. It was almost like the perfect morning.

It was strange to think of all that had happened in the span of the week-end, and Cat's head swam with the events. She was aware of having blurted out tons of things that maybe she shouldn't have, but Jade had elected to stay, so that must count for something. More than something. If she was going to tell Jade to be honest, she need to be as well. This _wasn't_ new to either of them. For quite awhile Jade had been easy-going in regards to the little redhead, and everyone would have had to have been blind not to see the way Cat fawned over her. There had been an undercurrent of super-charged emotion when they were alone, and Cat had known without a doubt that she would be cast as the main role in Jade's play when it was announced. There was no one else Jade would trust to do the job well. It made Cat want to laugh and laugh and laugh... no one else saw it for what it was, no one else had a clue what it meant to have her play such a pivotal role in that little fiasco of a production.

She knew Jade's father. He was an unholy terror when they were at home, the kind of man prone to shouting profanities and throwing things when he didn't get his way. It was no wonder Jade dealt with the world how she did. Jade was a source of endless frustration for him, a constant disappointment and bafflement. He had never hit her, but Cat was aware that words could constitute abuse just as surely as a punch. Jade had put herself out an a limb, a spindly, shaky limb that reached desperately towards her father like an olive branch of peace. She had taken Cat aside after confirming things with Tori and asked her if she would please (_she actually said __**please**_) be in the play. She had turned those big green eyes on her, and she had seen the pleading, the near begging that radiated out. Jade was too proud to beg out-loud, but Cat knew her so well she didn't have to.

She was never able to say 'no' to her. With something as important as her father _actually_ making an effort to see something she wrote, Jade was in a place where she could be helped. Where she needed it. The little redhead excelled at supporting her. The play was a perfect way to show Jade how dedicated she was, and she took it more seriously than anything else she had done thus far. Hearing that the bitter and jaded old curmudgeon had called it 'excellent' made Cat want to kiss Jade.

They had done that. They had finally dragged approval out him, an honest compliment that had meant the world to his daughter, even if she maintained her blase outward appearance.

Cat opened her eyes and looked up at Jade. She was sleeping calmly, the early morning light creeping in the window and spilling like molten gold across her albumen pale skin. Dust in the sunbeams floated like tiny particles of energy, like little specks of some nameless power that seemed to be drawn into and radiate from the sleeping girl. She was beautiful.

The word stole through her mind like a summer breeze, a fresh wind blowing in off of the ocean that carried the clean and unadulterated scent of perfection on a hot California day. Cat could feel the love she had for her friend swelling, filling her up like a hot air balloon, dragging her higher and higher into the stratosphere as she stared lovingly at her peaceful face. Jade made her feel like nothing could ever go wrong. She knew better, but it was nice to have the sort of comfort even that false impression provided. She supposed it was what trust felt like.

Cat didn't really trust people either, though from the outside she supposed it looked like she trusted too easily. It was easy to extend false portions of yourself to others, to present an image of yourself that was carefully tailored and sewn to fit like others thought it should. She was just as much a liar as Jade was, albeit in a different way. Bubbly ejaculations and random trivialities covered a lost and frightened soul that cowered in the confines of her body. It was so much easier to be strong when you were playing a part. It was so much easier to speak someone else's words when your own twisted and writhed like caged serpents in your throat.

Jade saw past all that. She looked through the vapid veneer that Cat painted on each day and saw the scared little girl underneath. It made the little singer feel like a million bucks: maybe even a billion. Numbers seemed like a wholly insufficient way to measure the emotion that flooded through her. Jade saw the real Cat and still wanted to be around.

Cat bit her lip and scooted higher in the bed, leaning up to place a gentle kiss against Jade's sleeping mouth. It was soft, just a quick moment of pressure before she pulled back. The sleeping girl groaned and turned her head, mumbling something incomprehensible. Long, dark lashes fluttered and deep green peeked out from between the gossamer strands. Jade smiled softly and leaned down, kissing her back.

"Good morning, kitten."

The little redhead's stomach was flipping like an Olympic gymnast doing floor exercises. There was that name again, that _pet name_, that thing that Jade _hated_ when Beck attempted to attach to her. Cat melted as the words floated gently into the quiet air.

She was done with pretending. If Jade wanted to do this, they'd do this. No more acting.

"Best morning," she murmured against the full lips still brushing against her own. She wasted no time, pushing closer and regaining the kiss, her hands eagerly moving against Jade's smooth skin. Fingers teased against the waistband of the short shorts and her tongue plunged forcefully into Jade's mouth, surprising the brunette. The action was quickly reciprocated, Jade moaning into her mouth as their tongues met in heated battle.

For once, Cat felt like she was in control. No more telling herself she wasn't good enough, no more convincing herself that Jade was better off with someone else: they belonged together and Cat would be damned if she wasn't going to take charge of this chance to prove it.

Jade grabbed a hold of Cat's hips, pulling her so that she was partially on top of her, and the redhead moved her hands to rest against Jade's cheeks, thumbs softly stroking as she eagerly devoured the other girl. Jade moaned again, deeper this time, and Cat felt her grip tighten, felt her fingers pressing into her hips like red-hot bands of steel. She broke away and moved to sink her teeth into the actress' neck, biting firmly and swirling her tongue sensually against the throbbing pulse under it. Jade's nails bit into her hips through her shirt and she let out her own moan of pleasure. She felt like her heart was beating in her throat, threatening to suffocate her. She needed more.

Eager fingers fluttered down to play at the hem of Jade's tank top, creeping under to slide inexorably higher towards her breasts. She gasped as Cat's fingers brushed against the soft skin along her ribs, teasingly light as they drew trails on her sensitive chest. Relinquishing her hold on Jade's neck, she used one hand to prop herself up as she slid the other higher and cupped a large, firm breast in her palm. The taller girl gasped and shivered as Cat ran her thumb over a hardening nipple, rubbing little circles around the sensitive nub as she began kissing along her collarbone. Cat could feel a pooling warmth between her legs and she pressed her hips tightly to Jade's.

Within minutes, the little redhead was gyrating against her friend (_lover_), pinching and rolling the hard nipple between her fingers as she reclaimed her mouth. Jade was pulling at her shirt, impatient for contact, and she broke away long enough to comply. She quickly yanked her shirt over her head, small hands grasping at Jade's tank top as soon as her own shirt had hit the floor.

The sight of Jade laying under her, perfect breasts exposed to the morning light, made her insides clench. Cat could feel her pulse pounding like a jackhammer, her breath ragged and full of want. She didn't want to deny her for a second.

Moving before Jade could form any sort of comment about the situation, Cat wrapped her lips around one pert bud and sucked firmly, the tip of her tongue massaging the sensitive area. Her hand drifted down once more and she boldly slipped it in the front of the tiny shorts hiding her objective. She smiled against Jade's chest as her fingers found their mark, deftly slipping against the swollen lips that were soaking the fabric of the borrowed clothing.

The feeling of Jade's wetness against her fingers made Cat shiver with excitement. _She_ did that to her. As she slid a finger into her folds, Jade shuddered and moaned loudly, hands reaching up to grasp at Cat's shoulders. The smaller girl took it as a sign to continue, and she smiled as she slipped her finger through the slickness of of Jade's lips, pressing insistently at her tight opening. Green eyes fluttered to meet her gaze and Jade nodded silently.

In one quick motion, Cat was inside. As her finger plunged into Jade's velvety depths, her lover cried out, her body releasing an involuntary shudder as Cat's finger began stroking in a firm and steady cadence. Cat felt like fireworks were exploding in her head, huge mortars booming out her heartbeats in a deafening rhythm. She pumped harder, moving to rain kisses along her lover's stomach. She could feel Jade clenching around her, trying to draw her in, and it drove her wild.

Cat slipped her finger out and smiled at the look of disappointment on Jade's face. Silly girl, did she really think the little singer would stop just like that?

"Jade, you have to be quiet, no matter what..." Her voice was small, but confident. "Promise me."

Comprehension dawned on Jade's face as she realized that Cat's brother was probably still asleep in the next room. She nodded silently, her mouth seemingly broken.

That was all Cat needed. She grabbed the top of the shorts and peeled them down her legs; she dragged her nails up and down Jade's creamy thighs, fingertips drifting closer and closer to her dripping center each time they traveled back up. Waves of pleasure rippled across her body, and Cat plunged two fingers deeply into her as she dropped her mouth to place a kiss at the top of her mound. Jade had to throw a hand over her mouth to stifle her cry. Cat slipped her tongue out and carefully slid it into her dripping lips, moaning as the thick juices coated her tastebuds. Jade was like the best dessert she had ever tasted. She quickly pumped her fingers in the actress' tight center, fingers curling to press against her sensitive walls as her tongue flicked strongly over the swollen bundle of nerves beneath it.

Jade was writhing against the bed, biting down on the edge of her hand as her hips pumped powerfully in time to Cat's thrusting. Cat moaned again, the feeling of Jade's wetness against her face sending her further into her heated passions. Part of her couldn't believe that she was really there, that she could feel the slick, swollen lips that throbbed against her tongue. She quickly told that part of her to believe-it-or-else, and slipped her fingers out. Her strong tongue slid down through the folds and swirled around the tight opening, the tip dipping in and lapping up the musky fluids dripping out. Jade bit back another cry as Cat slipped inside, her free hand reaching down to tangle in red-velvet hair and pull the smaller girl's mouth as close as possible.

Cat licked and sucked, sliding inside and swirling back out to run up the tender lips before dipping back in. Without warning, she plunged her fingers in to the hilt, curling roughly as she lapped against Jade's swollen clit.

It was getting harder for Jade to stay silent, her eyes screwed shut as she bit her hand, head thrashing with the overwhelming sensations that crashed through her body like tidal waves. Within moments she had plunged over the edge, her fingers tightening painfully in Cat's hair as she pressed the smaller girl's face almost smotheringly against her. Strong thighs pressed against the sides of Cat's head, trapping her. She could feel Jade's cum pouring over her lips, could feel her tight velvet walls convulsing around her fingers. She felt like she was losing her mind.

It was amazing.

Over and over again, Jade shuddered, and each time another wave of release would drip past Cat's fingers to coat her hand and face. With no small amount of difficulty, Cat removed her fingers and slid her tongue in, lapping up every drop of Jade that she could find.

_She_ had made Jade climax, _she_ had made her shiver and shake and moan and convulse and-

Cat almost passed out from sheer joy.

As Jade rode out the aftershocks, her body gradually relaxing and coming to a shivery stop, Cat abandoned her place between her perfect thighs, moving up to capture her lover's mouth with her own. Jade eagerly swirled her tongue around Cat's mouth, licking her own juices from her little kitten's lips. Cat purred into her mouth as they met in a heated kiss, wondering if the other girl could taste herself. For some reason, the thought made her nerves sing.

Eventually they slowed, Jade breaking away panting and blushing, covering her eyes with the hand she had been biting. Cat could see perfect little indentations where her teeth had pitted her skin. She smiled at Jade's apparent shyness.

As she slid to lay next to her, Cat could feel her own wet center throbbing against the restrictive material of her panties. It was driving her crazy, but she was too exhausted to try to do anything about it. She snuggled against the brunette and listened through her chest as her heart struggled to find a normal rhythm again. Eventually it slowed down and, for a moment, Cat was sure she had fallen asleep. Until she spoke, that is.

"Jesus, Cat..." Jade's voice was thick with sex and emotion. The words fell from her lips like a blessing, her tone filled with love. "I've never... that was... Jesus..."

Cat giggled. How very unlike Jade to be speechless.

"Glad you liked it," she murmured.

Jade grinned like a fool, eyes still hidden by her hand. "Understatement, Valentine."

They lay entangled, the scent of their arousal filling the room like tangible thing. Cat felt like she was swimming in it. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, drawing in the scent like a bloodhound, committing it to memory. She jumped as Jade's hand slid across her side, moving slowly down to slip between her legs and rub firmly over the soaked cotton of her underwear. She moaned and parted her thighs, rolling onto her back as Jade's fingers teased her through the thin barrier. She could feel a familiar flush come over her body, though it was something she had only encountered alone before then. Icy fire rushed through her veins, and she gasped as Jade brushed against her clit. She couldn't bring herself to open her eyes, lost in the sensation.

There was a pause when Jade's fingers lifted away, but her protestations were cut short as she felt them slip under the hem of her panties and plunge almost roughly through her slick lips. Cat arched up, hands tangling in the sheets as she spread her legs further and lifted her hips. Jade's fingers moved firmly past her clit and she bit back a cry as she entered her. Cat shuddered as Jade pressed into her hard, two fingers twisting and curling as they explored her depths. She opened her eyes at last and Jade smiled at her, leaning in to place a gentle kiss on her panting mouth.

"Your turn, kitten." Jade began thrusting into her, firm but slow. It felt like she was trying to touch every part of her, to find all of her secret places and lay claim to them. A whimper escaped her lips and Jade licked her lips, lust boiling in her eyes. She delved into her over and over again, working her up until she felt like she was going to explode. Cat clenched tightly around the invading fingers, trying to keep them deep inside where they were managing to hit every spot she had ever know she had, and even some she hadn't. She raised her hand and wrapped it behind Jade's neck, pulling her down into a frantic kiss. The other girl pumped strongly into her, filling her, making her cry out softly into her mouth. Their tongues slid together and apart, dancing through the kiss as they tasted each other, savoring the contact of flesh to flesh. Thrust after thrust impaled the small girl, and she felt herself winding tighter and tighter. Jade broke the kiss and sat back, snagging Cat's panties and pulling them roughly off of her. As the cold air hit her heated center, Cat shuddered and spread her legs wider again. She wanted this to last.

Jade was wearing a smirk and Cat suddenly felt self-conscious. She started to close her legs and Jade shook her head, pressing them open again. Jade looked pointedly into her eyes and thrust deeply into her, the smirk turning back into a look of pure lust as she curled against Cat's sweet spot, the little singer biting her lip and moaning as an intense wave of pleasure spread through her like wildfire. She could feel her gathering climax, could feel her body winding up to plummet over the edge like a runaway roller-coaster.

Cat had never imagined it could feel so good; that she could feel so right with Jade's fingers pounding into her, filling her. She never wanted it to stop. Her eyes closed and she felt herself falling into the sensations washing over her body. Each stroke in pushed her closer and closer to the end.

Suddenly, she felt Jade's tongue slip in-between her lips and swirl around her hood, carefully avoiding her clit. She couldn't bite back her cry this time, and she had to clap a hand over her mouth to stifle it. She had never been... she couldn't even think the term without blushing. But Jade's strong tongue was slipping up and down through her soaked lips, and Cat swore that nothing in the world could ever _possibly_ feel as amazing as Jade eating her out. The actress was pounding into her so hard that she was actually moving up on the bed, her head bumping her headboard. She was so close already, why why why was Jade using her mouth? Her heart felt like it would explode from all of the pressure building up inside of her.

Then something happened that truly shocked her, though in retrospect she would would say that she kind of expected something like it all along.

Jade slowed her pace and pulled out, dipping her pinky in and swirling it around to coat it. She slowly withdrew the finger and slipped the original two back in, sliding slowly as she paused with her tongue just barely touching Cat's clit. As the redhead tried to draw them in deeper, she felt Jade's wet little finger slid down to press lightly against her tight ass. She opened her eyes and looked fearfully into Jade's heated gaze. The panting vixen gave her an encouraging smile.

"Just relax, kitten..." There was a sudden pressure and Cat gasped, her hand clamping as tightly as possible over her mouth. Jade slipped into her fully and she wasn't sure if she was going to cum on on the spot or just faint. Then Jade started moving, and it felt like someone had lit an entire barge of fireworks in her head. She wasted no time picking up her former pace and intensity. Cat was struggling to keep her voice down, small hands tangled in Jade's long brown hair, holding her mouth (_her hot, wet mouth_) tight against her. She released a strangled moan as Jade sucked on her clit, every few seconds flicking her tongue rapidly over the bundle of nerves and sending shock-waves slamming through Cat's tiny body.

Cat shot over the edge so quickly that she didn't even have any warning. One second she was winding up, being filled and licked and pounded until she thought it might never happen; the next she was shattering into a million pieces, her body ramrod straight as a high-pitched whine began in the back of her throat. She could feel Jade filling her still, moving just as roughly as before as she rode out her orgasm. She couldn't stop it, and the whine turned into a sob, a strangled cry that tore out of her throat like a wild thing. Jade quickly moved up and covered her mouth in a kiss, swallowing the exclamation as it threatened to expose them. She could feel the cum coating her thighs and it just prolonged her climax, Jade's hand slipping even more easily into her as she took Cat like she would never have her again. Cat moaned loudly into Jade's mouth, her hands still tangled in her hair.

As the world finally spun towards a halt and Cat caught her breath, she realized that Jade was laying next to her, arms wrapped protectively about her shoulders as she shivered through her aftershocks. She nuzzled her face into Jade's chest, hands clinging to her clumsily as she sought to hold the strong brunette closer. Her mind was still reeling, spinning crazily like one of those teacup rides at the amusement park.

"I love you."

Cat's heart skipped a beat and she felt it jump into her throat. Her mind grabbed onto those three words, whipping them around in a frenzy, filling her with their meaning. Had Jade really said...?

"Did you fall asleep?" There was a hint of irritation in Jade's voice and Cat opened her eyes, looking up at her. She mutely shook her head. Jade frowned slightly. "I said 'I love you', y'know."

Cat stared at her for a beat, then burst into tears.

Jade held her closer, shocked. "I... I didn't mean to upset you..."

She shook her head violently, tears flowing down her face, and held Jade tightly. Words were a little much to be asking for at this moment, but she didn't want Jade to get the wrong impression: she wasn't upset, she was _happy_. She couldn't have asked for anything better than those three words, that simple declaration of intent and feeling. The entire SkyStore catalog couldn't have made her even a fraction as happy as Jade's sultry voice did uttering those words.

She took a deep breath and smiled, blinking back the tears as she stared up into Jade's worried eyes. "I love you, too."

The actress visibly relaxed and kissed her forehead softly. "Thank god... for a minute there I thought you were going to say you hated me."

Cat shook her head and snuggled back down. "I could never hate you, Jade."

Jade squeezed her tightly and she felt her sigh. "So what do we do now?"

"Sleep." Cat said simply, then laughed.

"Doesn't sound like a bad idea," Jade murmured. "Your clock says it's only seven-thirty."

Cat reached out and grabbed the displaced comforter, pulling it up to cover their rapidly cooling bodies. She had a niggling feeling in the back of her mind that she was forgetting something important, but most of her thoughts were still swirling in the wake of her emotions. She wrote it off and wiped the tears from her eyes, getting as close to Jade as she physically could. They wrapped around each other, skin slick with cooling sweat and the sticky mix of their arousal, bodies singing at the touch.

By the time the clock ticked over to eight, the only sounds issuing from the bed were Jade's soft snores and the steady, sleepy mumblings of a certain redhead.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Alright, short chapter this time. I started on a Cam fic that has been dividing my attention, so I made this more of a transition than anything. Hope you enjoy it! Chapter ten should be up in the next few days, as well as the start to my Cam series. I love my readers! You guys are awesome!**

Bright, mid-day sun drilled into Cat's eyes as she came awake. The sound of the front door had startled her out of her dreams and she wondered blearily who was coming home in the middle of the day. She could hear her brother talking to someone, then footsteps on the stairs. Must be one of his friends, she thought, laying back down.

As she settled back in next to Jade, blushingly aware of how naked they both still were, a light knock sounded at the door.

"Cat?"

Her heart lept into her throat. It was Tori.

Why was it Tori?

"Are you sick? We missed you this morning at school..."

Oh. School. That would have been what she was supposed to remember this morning. She lay frozen with the thought as she heard the door knob turning, then the click of the latch as the door swung open.

_Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no._ The thought was pounding through her head, paralyzing her as Tori stepped into her room and stopped, mouth agape at the sight before her.

"_What is going-_"

Cat tried to shush her, sitting up and waving her hands wildly. Too late.

Jade rolled over, opening her eyes and staring in disbelief at the skinny brunette in the doorway.

"Vega?" Jade was up like a shot, eyes burning in a rage as she pulled the sheet up to keep herself covered. "What the hell?"

Cat groaned and dropped her face in her hands. Perfect. Way to go kid, you forgot it was Monday. She sighed and risked a glance up at Jade. Her entire posture screamed out the danger of the situation. Her voice was low and measured as she pointed at Tori.

"Get in here, shut the door, and shut your mouth."

Tori hovered at the threshold, confusion and indecision warring over her face. She seemed to realize the precarious place she was in and stepped into the room, carefully latching the door behind her. She worked her mouth silently for quite a while before finally shaking her head and giving up.

Cat sat quietly and searched for something to say, to do, anything to try and salvage something positive. The word _fiasco_ kept floating through her mind.

Jade fumed next to her, hands clenched tightly in the sheets as her breath tore out of her in furious bursts. She pointed at the floor and glared at Tori.

"Sit."

Tori obeyed, sitting against the door. She cast a curious glace at Cat, then looked back to Jade.

"Why are you here?" Cat shivered at the coolness of her voice.

"You guys weren't at school this morning, we all thought you were sick or something." She shifted uncomfortably, her eyes sliding around the room as she avoided looking directly at the compromising situation in front of her. "I came over to check on Cat as soon as lunch started."

Jade made an irritated sound in the back of her throat. She looked over to Cat, her green eyes troubled. Her angry expression slipped and something Cat pegged as fear showed through. She sighed and shook her head, looking back to Tori.

"You will never speak of this, do you understand? Never."

Tori looked back and forth between the two girls and arched her eyebrow, waving her hand between them. "What exactly is 'this'?"

"None of your business, Vega." Jade was gritting her jaw so tightly Cat worried she'd crack her teeth. "Promise. You will _never_ speak of this."

The lithe girl pondered the order, then shook her head. "I think I deserve a little clarification, guys..." She stood up and opened the door. "I'll give you time to... get decent. Then we'll talk."

If she hadn't walked out of the room as she spoke, Jade would have beaten her. The angry actress was up and to the door right as it latched, her hand slamming against the wood right where Tori's head had been a moment before.

"Jade!" Cat gasped in shock.

"What?" Jade spun around and threw her arms in the air in frustration. The effect was noticebly more dramatic without clothes. Cat caught herself staring at the bare form in front of her, watching as parts rippled, and moved, and flexed, and-

Cat frowned and beckoned Jade back to the bed. The last thing they needed was for her to go rampaging through the house in the nude, chasing after Tori Vega and threatening to beat her.

"She's going to run her mouth off, Cat! She's going to go right back to school and tell everyone what's going on!"

Cat quickly grabbed Jade's hand and pulled her down next to her, wrapping her arms around her neck and pulling her in for a kiss. She could feel her stiffen, then pull away.

"Jade, calm down." The words sounded lame, falling from her mouth in a futile effort to calm the raging beauty in front of her. "It's Tori... she won't say anything if-"

"If I break her jaw? Yeah, that'll definitely work."

Cat frowned and slapped Jade's arm. "Don't you dare!"

"Tori Vega couldn't keep a secret if it was handcuffed to her," Jade snatched her clothes off of the floor and started pulling them on, standing to button her jeans. "I have to do _something_."

Cat stared down at her hands. This all would have been avoided if she had kept track of the days, but she had been so caught up in the whirlwind of events that it hadn't even crossed her mind. She was at a loss for what to do, though she didn't think physical violence was going to help matters. She sighed and stood up, pulling clothes out of her dresser and throwing them on as she kept an eye on her fuming... friend? Lover? Girlfriend? She didn't know what to call her.

Once she was clothed, Cat sat on the bed and nodded to Jade to call Tori back. Better to get this over with.

Jade opened the door and stuck her head into the hallway.

"Vega! Get up here!" It was a snarl, and one that made Cat's skin prickle.

Tori could be heard coming back upstairs and down the hall, her hurried footsteps unnaturally loud against the hard wooden floor. As she stepped into the room she smiled softly at Cat and turned to face the glowering girl looming next to her.

"Really guys, what the chiz is going on with you?" Apparently the time downstairs had emboldened her. "This is... yeah. An explanation would be nice."

Cat didn't know where to start. She wasn't even sure what to call what was going on. There certainly wasn't an easy explanation.

"We... umm..." she trailed off, looking for the right word.

"We're together," Jade blurted loudly, reaching down to take her hand. Alright, maybe there was.

"I kind of noticed _that_ part." Tori quipped. "But... how? Why? When?"

Jade's grip tightened and she took a deep breath. "Last night, none of your business, and... well, even _you_ should be able to puzzle out 'how'."

Tori blushed and laughed nervously. "Yeah... I think I can fill in the gaps there."

"Tori, you can't tell anyone." Cat caught her eyes and frowned. "You really, really, _really_ can't."

"I'm not sure anyone would believe me if I did," she replied, staring at the couple in front of her. "This is pretty... out there."

"Just keep your mouth shut." Jade sat down next to Cat, eying Tori with a mixture of contempt and unease. "Promise."

"Alright, alright! I promise." She shook her head, disbelief still rampant across her face.

"Yay!" Cat exclaimed, smiling widely. "Thank you!"

Tori stumbled back as Cat lept off the bed and tackled her in a hug. She gently patted the redhead's back and smiled. "Sure thing, kid."

Cat pulled away and smiled at Jade, but it faltered as she saw that she was chewing her lip again: she could practically see the wheels turning behind her girlfriend's eyes. She moved back to the bed and leaned over, kissing Jade softly.

"It's okay," she whispered. Jade nodded and sighed, leaning back and laying down with her hand over her eyes. Cat turned back to Tori. "I don't think we're going to be there today... at school, I mean."

Tori shuffled her feet and sighed. "I'll just say you have the flu. But you guys are gonna have to be there tomorrow. Sikowitz is having us team up for different plays and act out specific scenes." She turned to leave, but paused with her hand on the door. Turning back, she said, "You guys look happy. I'm glad." Without further comment she left, pulling the door shut behind her.

Cat listened as she made her way out of the house, hearing the sound of her car as the engine turned over and caught. The day was turning out better than she thought.

"So... we're together now?" The question hung in the air much a a brick did not. Silence stretched on and she lay on the bed next to Jade.

"Yeah," Jade murmured, finally. "We are." She pulled her hand away from her face and laced her fingers in Cat's. "That's what you wanted, right?"

Cat ran her thumb over the back of Jade's hand. "Yes."

"Good."

They lay in in her room, hands entwined, and each silently pondered the ramifications of their new-found love.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Sorry, this chapter really fought with me. Belatedness aside, I think I'm moving in the direction I want now, so the next chapter should take considerably less time to get written up and posted.**

**Much love (as always!) to my reviewers. You guys rock my socks.**

**Without further ado (thankfully)... Chapter 10!**

**You'll tell me if it sucks, right? Right? You won't just sit there and laugh at me, and point, and keep me from joining all the reindeer games... RIGHT? 0.o**

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**

Cat hadn't expected candy, or wine, or roses... but she had expected _something_. Something other than the cool stares and cold shoulders that flew her way all through Sikowitz' class and into lunch. As she sat in contemplative silence at the lunch table, Jade sashayed over and plopped her food unceremoniously next to Cat's. The small redhead cast a wary eye over her girlfriend and decided to keep her mouth shut. Jade looked ready to pull the wings off of faeries.

As far as Cat knew, nothing had happened that would account for Jade's change in demeanor. They had ended the evening on good terms, Jade kissing her passionately before bouncing her keys in her hand with a smile and heading home. It had seemed like everything was going to be alright.

Now, the stormy brunette was glaring daggers at her salad and doing anything but acting 'alright'. The clamor of lunchtime seemed to slide around her, like she was an island in the midst of a raging river, students and their assorted cacophonous noises spilling around her as she sat in immovable funk. She didn't even comment when Sinjin wandered by and not-so-discreetly leaned in to sniff her hair.

Now that was disturbing.

Cat turned back to her notes from class and tried to act like everything was normal. She casually reached over and set her hand on top of Jade's in her lap, counting it as a small victory when she felt Jade's fingers slide between her own. They sat in uneasy silence, Cat casting curious looks through her bangs as she failed spectacularly at memorizing her lines. This wasn't what she had expected at all.

Tori came bouncing over to their table about halfway through the period, a large, knowing smile plastered on her face as she sat down across from the tense couple.

"What do you want?" Jade growled, pausing momentarily in her salad slaughter to glare across the table.

"Just wanted to say 'hi'!" Tori smiled at Cat, turning to cover her mouth so that Jade couldn't see, then mouthed, "What's up with Captain Cranky?"

Cat shrugged and willed her smile to stay plastered on. "How are you and Andre doing with your scene?"

"Oh, well enough... I think it's silly that Sikowitz is having us do 'Taming of the Shrew'."

Jade arched her eyebrow and smiled one of her (evil) little smiles. Cat suspected she was keeping a rather unfriendly comment locked behind those perfect lips.

"You guys will do great! I just know it!" There. She could be energetic and interested enough for the both of them.

Tori rambled on about the project for awhile, Cat nodding and exclaiming at all the right places, though more through habit than anything. Jade was driving her nuts. This 'Quiet Game' was a horrible idea, one that put her more and more on edge as the minutes ticked by. Tori finally exhausted herself and moved on from talking to staring. Cat could feel her chocolate eyes peering intently between them, could practically see the questions and thoughts curling around each other as they mulled around in her brain. It was eerie watching someone else's mind work when her own seemed hopelessly mired.

"You should look at something else if you value your eyes, Vega."

Cat held in a sigh and mouthed "sorry" at Tori. The skinny girl smiled airily and brushed it off.

"You should watch your mouth if you don't want certain... things... to get out." With that simple statement, Tori stood and waved good-bye to Cat, smiling ingratiatingly at her sullen partner. As she moved off through the crowd, Cat tried to soothe Jade, rubbing her hand and mumbling sweet nothings at her. Tori's comment had Jade fumbling for a response, the vein in her neck throbbing in anger as she mouthed wordlessly at the retreating figure.

"It's okay Jade, she won't really say anything..."

"She won't if she knows what's good for her," Jade finally managed.

"What's going on with you?"

Jade turned to look her her, troubled eyes hooded and concealing. "What's that supposed to mean?"

It was Cat's turn to arch an eyebrow as her trademark phrase fell from Jade's lips.

"You know what I meant." It was a peevish response, but she could tell Jade's heart wasn't really in it.

"I mean this... funk."

"Ex-_cuse_ me?" Jade snatched her hand away and turned her glare on Cat.

"No, I meant that you seem down! Like, something else is going on..." Great, thought the little singer, now _I'm_ in trouble.

"There's a whole lot going on all of the time, Cat. Plenty to be getting on with. I don't need your negativity." Jade stood and snatched up her bag. "I'll see you after school."

Cat sat, baffled, and watched as Jade stomped off into the school, scattering lower classmen like leaves in the Santa Ana winds.

_Her_ negativity? Really?

Something was very not-right in the tumultuous world of Jade West.

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**

Cat was in the middle of a very interesting (she thought) conversation with Tori about the ghost cars that tripped stoplights in the middle of the night, when she saw jade headed out to her car. She quickly excused herself, apologizing to her friend as she took off after Jade, running to catch up before she got to her car.

Jade stopped next to the vehicle, waiting for Cat to catch up before beeping it open and sliding into the driver's seat. Cat stood in thought for a moment before sliding in next to her, fastening her seatbelt. She didn't know what to say, she couldn't trust herself not to make it worse. She still didn't even know what was really going on.

"My dad is going to kill me."

That simple statement, so matter-of-fact, so blase... it unearthed a pit of fear in Cat's soul.

"I... he... what?" Her voice was small and scared, and she cursed it for showing her weakness.

"He's going to find out, Cat." Jade had the steering wheel in a death grip, her knuckles white. "He's going to find out and he's going to kill me."

Cat shook her head, tears gathering unbidden in the corners of her eyes. No, no, no-

"I... I don't know if I can do this."

Cat felt herself start crying, her hands clenched in her lap as she felt the tears slipping down her face. This was ridiculous, this was just some little thing... some little bump, hiccup, snag, snafu, interruption, short-circuit-

"I think I made a mistake."

-detour, roadblock, dead-end, WARNING: CLIFF AHEAD.

Too late.

Once again, Cat found herself shooting over the edge of her mind: reality could be a hard thing to hold onto. Like a slow-motion clip of _Thelma & Louise_, Cat's mind accelerated over the precipice and hurtled like a two-ton rock into the depths of her own canyon-like psyche. She braced for the impact, for the rending crunch of smashed ego and unruly emotion that was racing towards her face.

But there wasn't an impact. She just kept falling, and falling, and falling, and falling, and-

"Say something..."

-there it was, the bottom, she could sure see it now!

Boy, how very large and flat it looked rushing up to meet her... yet, how round at the edges, like one of those pictures taken with a fish-eye lens that made everything look like a nightmare, like the sinister creeping of insanity as it clawed it's way into her bright and shiny world...

In an instant, Cat Valentine shattered apart like spun glass thrown against concrete.

She was vaguely aware of sitting in the car; of the hot leather of the seats sticking to the backs of her legs; of Jade's hard, measured breathing, preternaturally loud in the confines of the cab; of the scorching afternoon sun burning into her. This was all noticed, all catalogued and filed away by her subconscious for later use. It was occupied with trying to prevent a complete systems failure at the moment and couldn't be bothered to register sensory input. There was a struggle, a _scrum_ if you will, as Cat's conscious mind fragmented and shot apart, as her subconscious scrambled to grab desperately at the retreating shards.

There was a sound in her head like a faint humming, building in intensity and pitch, a sound that drowned out thought and reason, rationality and rhyme. Everything went sort of fuzzy and soft, then dark, dark, dark, dark, dark-

Why was it so dark?

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**

Cat tried opening her eyes.

Still dark. But she was laying on something soft and it felt like a cloud, and it smelled like mangoes, and there was this wonderful warmth radiating next to her. Her rationality floated teasingly close, whispering hints to her of her surroundings through the dissociative fugue that clouded her thoughts.

Mangoes.

That meant something important.

She tried closing her eyes again, and as it didn't seem to make a noticeable difference, she kept them shut.

Inhaling deeply, the strong scent of tropical fruit washed over her like a wave, the almost sickeningly sweet aroma pouring into her lungs and kick-starting her brain.

Jade. Jade always smelled like mangoes.

Cat opened her eyes once more and tried to find a recognizable bit of furniture, or wall, or ceiling, or... bedspread. Purple. Jade's.

Why... why was she _here_? The only thing she could remember was Jade saying something about her father... but that was right after school. What happened to all of that time in between?

Slowly, Cat rolled over onto her other side. Jade was stretched out next to her, both girls still fully clothed, with her arm draped over Cat's middle.

The bottom fell out of her mind and she floated aimlessly for awhile.

Once her mind resurfaced, she tried once more to figure out what she was doing laying on Jade's bed, at Jade's house, when _Jade_ had just tried calling it off with _her_.

It made the kind of sense that's not.

That is, it made the kind of sense that her fragile, shattered mind couldn't handle even if given detailed instructions and full-color diagrams.

That hopeful Cat, that _happy_ Cat, suggested that it meant they were still together. Jade's Cat said she was being silly (like usual) and reading too much into a friend's simple concern. Happy Cat quickly muzzled Jade's Cat and shut her in a closet. No comments from the Peanut Gallery, thank you.

Cat closed her eyes once more and tried to stop her world from spinning. She felt like she was losing her mind. More so than usual.

It was unsettling. Discomfiting, even.

Eyes open.

Find the clock.

One-thirteen a.m.

Close eyes.

Sleep, sleep was the best option now. Drift off, just let go, just float into unconsciousness and relax.

There would be a rising sun along the dark horizon... things were always darkest before the dawn... it had to get worse before it got better...

Sleep was elusive, close, but not close enough to pull her in.

It was a long night.

Jade opened her eyes as the first rays of sun filtered through her blinds and she smiled softly.

"I was wrong, go to sleep..."

Cat felt her tension rush out and it was replaced by a bone-weary sleepiness. Jade leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her cheek.

"I'll call us out of school, just go to sleep Kitten."

Cat yawned and eyed Jade warily. No way it was going to be this simple. No way was everything just going to fall back... into... place... She yawned again. Goodness, she was tired. Her mind swirled back, coalescing briefly before puffing away on the next breath of wind.

Jade was holding her close now, her arms wrapping about her protectively, and she could hear the steady _thump-thump-thump_ of the actress' heart under her breast.

"I really am tired..." Cat yawned, one hand covering her mouth.

"We'll talk about things when you wake up. I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." Jade kissed her forehead this time. "Get some rest."

Cat nodded sleepily and relaxed, letting her mind swirl off into the aether.

Apologetic Jade made everything seem better.


End file.
